My fiancé continues to contact his exes behind my back. What should I do?

So I've been with my fiancé for 4 years, engaged for 1. Right when we moved into together, his most recent ex sent me a message saying that he'd called her a year into our relationship to say he still loved her. I knew nothing of any of this. I confronted him and he admitted to having called her, but denied the rest. He waited until AFTER he proposed to admit that he did, in fact, tell her he still loved her. He said it was all foolishness on his part and that he's never regretted anything more, because with time he's come to realize that I'm the only woman he's ever really loved and it was all just a terrible mistake. Well, I find out that a couple of months ago, he contacted yet another old flame of his. He said he knew it was wrong, but he was mad at me (it was after a fight) and he found himself missing their intellectual conversations. He actually screamed at me when I cried about it, saying I'm being dramatic over something he did with innocent intentions. He can't seem to understand that I have every right to feel betrayed given our past history with this same bs, thinking we'd agreed to leave the past in the past and no more secrecy and betrayal. I just needed to vent since he left me alone crying on the couch so he could go sleep. Thx to anyone who replies <3

3 Answers

  • Ana
    Lv 6
    5 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ok look, my husband has cheated too, but the difference is my husband 1) admits his fault, 2) he doesn’t blame me, 3) he accepts responsibility, 4) he has taken steps to prevent this from occurring more... he attends SAA regularly, he goes to church regularly now, he quit alcohol and weed, and he’s focused more on work (we own a successful business together), etc. 5) My husband also allows me to monitor his phone activity/texts/calls/dats usage and his whereabouts by the apps “Mobistealth” and “Find my iPhone”.

    Your boyfriend is betraying you, what he’s doing is cheating, obviously.

    But the biggest problem of all, is your boyfriend’s reaction to being caught. He doesn’t take responsibility, he doesn’t even seem to recognize that his behavior is even wrong, or that bad. He blames you. He calls you overreacting/crazy/ dramatic etc.

    I think you might wanna end things with this clown before you two bother getting married. Unless there’s some real strong reasons to stay with him

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  • 5 months ago

    If he has a habit of connecting with exes and telling them he loves them and more, well.... why are you with him? He sounds like a bit of a creeper to me.

    I wouldn't marry someone i didn't trust. You have to make the decision about whether you trust him, or if you're going to sit around worrying about who he's talking to and whether he plans to get together with someone else. I wouldn't want that sort of anxiety if i didn't trust the guy i was with. I'd rather be alone.

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  • 5 months ago

    Unfortunately your fiance sounds like an extremely immature, self-involved, dishonest person. Are you certain this is the kind of man you want to commit to for the rest of your life? Is it possible you're jumping into this marriage just a bit too soon?

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