Marching band problem?
I am a drum major of a decent-sized band with one other person. It was a very difficult audition process, as expected and I turned out to be the "head drum major", recently, the other drum major has been following me around like a lost puppy. examples:
1) When our director is giving instructions, we stand at the front of the room. I lean up against something so I look casual and not cowardly, the other drum major instantly follows me there and stands next to me, making us both appear socially awkward. So I move. They follow. I sit, they follow. I change the way I'm sitting. THEY FOLLOW
2) Any time I ask the director a quick question they run up to me and beg to know what it was, and they hope it involves them. I can't get a minute alone.
3) our director has an injury, so I stood up from our seats to grab his device for him, and she followed me, got in the wa, and followed me back.
How to I tell her that she needs to stop. It makes me not want to take actions in situations because I know she will follow. I'm not sure that I can mention it to my director either...
- bubulaLv 62 months ago
She sounds terribly insecure. My guess is that she follows you because she's so unconfident about what she's doing that she's decided to simply do what you do. You're not going to like this advice, but the best way to deal with it is befriend her. Instead of running away, ask for a conversation. It's hard to believe the two of you don't have to work together, and as long as that's the case, do what you can to make it a more pleasant experience. It may take two or three conversations to gain her trust, but when you have it, talk to her with genuine helpfulness about how important it is for her to develop more confidence in herself, think and act more independently and become her best self. She's acting unreasonable, yes, but you could be as well in that you're acting more competitive than cooperative.