I’ll try to keep this short. I used to love my life. I enjoyed hunting and fishing with my father until I joined the military and moved away. I am now married, have an 18 month old daughter, and hate life more than ever. I’ve struggled with depression for the last 2 years or so. It wasn’t so bad before we had a child but now I have absolutely zero time to do the things I once did. All I do now is work and take care of the baby with maybe an hour or two to myself. Sure, I have the weekend to do things however, my wife watches the baby all week while I’m working so I feel bad and want to help as much as I can. The depression has gotten worse over the last few months. I’ve started to think about ways to end my life but I know I can’t do that to my family. I just feel like I’m a rat on a wheel and going absolutely nowhere. I feel so guilty because I love my daughter very much but I also feel like she took a huge part of my life away from me.
- KatieCLv 57 months agoFavorite Answer
Don’t feel guilty. I think a lot of people feel this way at some point after having kids, but no one wants to be honest or talk about it. Is it not having time that is making you depressed? Or is it the loss of freedom? I am a stay at home mom to a 2 1/2 year old and went through a lot of the same things you’re describing. I can tell you that it gets easier to find time as baby’s sleep gets more predictable. Past that, we wound up “splitting” most weekends. I sleep in on Saturday morning, and my husband sleeps in on Sunday. After I wake up on Saturday, he usually goes to play golf, and I go to the movies or brunch or something on Sunday. I wish I could give you a magic answer, but you just have to play around with your time and see what works best for you. The worst thing you can do is let yourself get into a rut. Try to talk to your wife openly and honestly about what you’re feeling.
- Anonymous6 months ago
You and your family need to start going to Church as it wont hurt a bit and should help!
- 7 months ago
Call on the name of Jesus Christ, the Living God. The Father loves us so much that He gave His Son to die on the cross to pay for our sins. He loves you just as a father loves his child. Come to Him as you are. It doesn't matter what you did in the past. Ask for forgiveness and repent. He is the permanent solution to all your problems. He is the only One who is able to deliver you from depression. Why are you carrying your load by yourself when He can carry you. Cast your cares upon Him and He will give you rest.
- Anonymous7 months ago
just say no to depression, it can't legally depress you without your consent.
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- sparrowLv 77 months ago
You might be suffering from post partum depression, due to hormonal changes.
When your child is young, it's a very stressful time for a parent, but it will get better.
I remember when I had my kids. It put me in a proverbial straight jacket; made me go nuts.
It was so stressful. My husband and I used to love to go out to eat, and we really couldn't
anymore, because children don't always behave or like the exotic restaurant food.
Not to mention the lack of sleep, and lack of "me" time. You have to watch them every
second. If you look away for even one moment, they can get into something, hurt themselves,
choke on something, etc.
Hang in there, because life will get better for you.
- audreyLv 77 months ago
See a doctor/therapist/psychiatrist. Meds are available to help you feel better. Take advantage of the help that's out there. Good luck.
- Judy and CharlieLv 77 months ago
The American Medical Association has declared that depression is a disease and like any other disease it responds well to medications and therapies. And like any other disease, it can be terminal if not treated. So, please see your family medical doctor about this and if you need a referral, he or she will do that for you.
And above all, consider what your responsibilities are now. Man up. See your doctor.
If your wife had post partum depression and was considering suicide, I would tell her the same thing.
- 7 months ago
This really resonates with me, it's one of those things nobody should go through, especially as a father. The only real advice I can give is to just spend as much time as possible doing the things you enjoy. Depression is apathy and the only way to get rid of it is to force-feed yourself serotonin. Buy yourself some candy, go jogging, buy yourself fancy clothes and start exercising (if you don't already). Talk to your wife, be honest and open about your feelings and see if she can help. You're in this together, don't rob her of the opportunity to show you that. Therapy can also be very helpful