Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 7 months ago

As a guest should I offer to help with dishes when i go with my friend to their mom's house?

So I go with my friend to their mom's and apparently she thinks the guest should ask to help with the dishes. The times I did do that she went and sat down and I washed ALL her dishes from dinner and apparently throughout the day. I stopped asking after I was fed up with feeling like a maid. Growing up if someone asked if they could help clean up EVERYONE would help not leave one person to do it all. Usually when we are there my friend's daughter is there, my friend's mom and stepdad (who doesn't live there) and 2 nieces, sometimes the nephew are all there. I'm the only one she wants to clean. She has gotten very rude with me twice. First time she made me wait to get my food last. Second time she asked me to bring soda which is no big deal but because my friend helped bring in the soda (3 12 packs) she assumed my friend bought it and raised her voice. She point right at me in front of everyone and said "I told HER to get the soda" my friend told her I bought it and they were helping carry it in. They were also already eating and just about done when we got there. Then the next time we went she told my friend to tell me to bring soda again but didn't bother texting me. Then again when we got there they already were done eating. She never ask anyone else to bring something which I found odd.

I feel like I'm buying her and her grandkids soda (I don't even buy myself soda) and I feel very unwelcome and awkward. 

2 Answers

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    By all means offer to help....NOT to take over.

    Say something such as “Shall I wash, and you dry?”

    Why does the friend not help as well?

    Many hands make light work

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  • 7 months ago

    It seems clear that your friends' mother does not like you. So why do you continue to go eat at your friends? This is not about helping clean up after a meal. This is about not being wise enough to avoid being targeted by someone that apparently doesn't want you there in the first place! Please understand that I am not condoning the woman's behavior. She is showing an incredible lack of hospitality and has no business having guests to come to her home for a meal.

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