Am I a bad guy for wanting to leave my girlfriend of 8 years for my first love (who never happened)?
The story is a bit complicated, as we were kids my mom had to take care of a girl (3 years younger than me), as her parents had to work. She was like the little sister I never had, we were like siblings and did everything together, playing, homework, fishing,holidays etc... til she turned 13 and they had to move to like, 3 states away. She wrote me a letter where she told me she wasn't happy with her new life in the new town and I didn't answer back. I know, I'm a jerk.. but I jidt felt awkward, everything, messages and calls, used to get awkward with her cause we were too far. I got engaged to a girl who was totally different from her, she was shy, cute, sweet and a bit tomboy while my gf is extroverted and has lots of friends. I met again my first love while on holiday and she saw me and run away crying. My gf kidded her. It triggered me to leave her, I have had enough with her, her fake and stupid friends, all fake and middle class. I hate them all, and I hate her for kidding on my love. I'm just sad cause she broke down crying while seeing me. I'm just afraid she won't want me because of the letter. What do I do? How can I have her back? Does she resent me? Why do I feel like chaning everything now?
- Anonymous8 months agoFavorite Answer
You never loved her so leave her. The other one... well, it can be that what you look for isn't exactly what she wants.
- Common SenseLv 74 months ago
After 8 years of dating, and you're considering leaving her... You have to follow your instincts and break up. There's a reason why you're not married or engaged because she's not the right one for you. Simply tell her that you don't see yourself having a future with her and therefore you're walking away from the relationship so you both can pursue people who you may have a future chance with. But under no circumstances, mention your childhood sweetheart. Because in reality, with or without the childhood sweetheart on your mind , your girlfriend is not the girl for you.
Now, about that childhood sweetheart. Contact her any way you possibly can and tell her that you never stop thinking about her and got all caught up in your own life back when she tried to contact you sometime ago. Let her know that you regret not responding to that letter but you feel it's never too late to to rekindle an old friendship. Let her know that you were really sorry you did not reach out to her when she needed you and you feel terribly about that . All you can do is ask her to please forgive you so you both can get to know one another again. Just open your heart and be honest with her.
You both obviously have feelings for one another, so if you are truly interested her and have genuine feelings, I implore you to pursue her. This could be your last chance.
- TrishLv 58 months ago
I wonder if you have a mental health issue. Why would you want to see someone seriously who you haven't had contact in years. You don't know what she's been doing like she doesn't know about you. And you already hope to form a relationship after seeing her one time. Sounds like you have not even spoken with one another. I would talk to her one time to get all unresolved issues out the way so you can move forward with the life you desire.
- Dr. StephanieLv 78 months ago
What did you mean..."I feel like chaning everything now"? Did you mean "changing"?
You sure got yourself into a pickle, and it looks like you've lost both girls in your life.All you can do at this point is try to contact the one you want, re-establish a relationship, if she'll accept you, and see where it leads. Meanwhile, I'd caution you to take it a bit more slowly and conservatively, and don't haul off and get engaged to ANYONE, unless you are much surer and more confident that you will be with the right person this time around. Give it time. How your first love feels about you now, is anyone's guess, unless you ask her yourself, directly.
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- Beverly SLv 78 months ago
You are in love with a childhood memory. You don't even know this girl anymore. Not saying you should stay with someone you don't love, but you may be expecting more out of your childhood friend than you should.
- BeatriceBattenLv 78 months ago
Leave your girlfriend because you clearly don’t respect her. Not because you’ve suddenly found someone better.
I don’t know if the other girl wants you or not, so you’ll have to ask her. But it’s not a matter of getting her “back” since you were never a couple in the first place.
I would advise breaking up with your girlfriend and then staying single a while until you fix your attitude toward women and relationships, because you’ve clearly got some problems there.
- dripLv 78 months ago
Yes break up with your girlfriend. Your feelings for her sound horrid. Why would you stay with her if that is the way you feel and think of her family and friends.
You never had the other girl. You never dated her or kept in touch. So you are not getting her back. Not sure why she would cry upon seeing you, but that doesn’t bode well.
All you can do is communicate with her.
- sunshine_melLv 78 months ago
You can't have her 'back' - you never had her in the first place.
- 8 months ago
Not really. Jerk or not, nobody can force you to love someone.