My boyfriends job is ruining our relationship ?

My boyfriend works around 50/55 hours a week (evenings so he works until 12-2. He gets 2 days off but they’re long shifts when he does work. 

He hates the job. He doesn’t sleep properly. He has depression and anxiety issues. 

So he’s grumpy 24/7. He takes out all of his anger on me. When I tell him I don’t appreciate the way he’s treating me he says he’s only treating me that way because of the way I speak to him. But the way I speak to him is a direct result of him not cleaning up after himself around the house and being angry and rude 24/7. 

I don’t know how to handle this situation. I’ve been actively avoiding him by planning things on his days off, but I can’t do that forever. But every time we hang out it’s horrible. He’s grumpy and rude and angry every time. Help!!!

6 Answers

Relevance
  • 3 weeks ago
    Best Answer

    Sounds like he is just an immature miserable pr*ck. Find a real man who will treat you well and respect you. It's not your boyfriends job that is the problem. It is your boyfriend that is the problem

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    My husband works about twice that but I knew that before I agreed to be with him. Sounds like your guy could benefit from some counseling. But the bottomline is that if he won't switch jobs and you can't handle his hours you're simply not a good match.

  • Jerry
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    Hate your job = hate your life.

    That may EXPLAIN his miserable behavior. But it doesn't EXCUSE it. 

    If he can't drop the miserable behavior then you may have to drop HIM. Tell him that if he's not happy to be spending time with you then please please please don't spend time with you -- you're certainly not eager to spend time with him if he can't manage to be pleasant. 

    Along with that, never forget that in those instances where you remind him to do what he ought to do without being reminded it is YOU and not HE who is the injured party. Call him on this crap. "If your issue was truly that you don't like being reminded to put your dirty clothes in your laundry hamper, then you'd be putting your dirty clothes in your laundry hamper so as to avoid those reminders. You're not stupid. So what is really going on here?" 

  • 3 weeks ago

    Relationships should ultimately bring you joy. There are situations where sticking it out could be worth it, but this does not sound like one. You shouldn’t have to be in a relationship where you don’t like being around the other person, anymore than he should have to be in a job that clearly isn’t good for him. May you both have the courage to step back and reassess why you are where you are. 

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • keerok
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    You can be annoyed all you like. It's normal but you will have to understand, tolerate and work on how to make him feel better despite his stressful predicament. On the other hand, he should also try his best to separate work from home. You'll both have to cooperate in trying to take good care of each other despite your conditions.

    So clean up after him but on those 2 days-off, don't. Tell him to cook for you too and give him something to do like fix that creaky door or something. Let him feel he's needed, that you can't do everything by yourself to maintain a home. On the days he's stressed, just make sure you're there, caring for him. It's hard. That's life. That's love.

    That's nothing yet. Wait till you have a kid!

  • nanu
    Lv 5
    3 weeks ago

    move on.......................

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.