Is my poem ok?

I have to create a poem for english and my topic is about having a bad dream, I also need some metaphors 


I’m in desperation of a nightlight for my head,

For a monster embracing its vantablack soul,

My mother told me they were once beneath my bed,

But now they are stomping hard in my head,

It’s crimson eyes pierced at my vitality,

Swimming through my bloodstream to sprout in my veins,

Trying to reach my heart to sync as one,

I run for what seemed like miles,

But only to find out I am standing still,

It flourishes it’s tangible shadow and mimics every dance move,

I am paralysed with terror,

I’m in despair of the control of my own thoughts,

It brought immunity to all my treatments,

All the medicines and pills,

They won’t turn on the light,

The muscles in my body are willing to put out a fight,

Yet I am swallowed by fear of the towering fright,

It stalks me during the day and haunts me in my sleep,

My mind is its home,

And my soul is the weak it feasts on.

3 Answers

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    You could add:

    "12 O Clock and Midnight strikes,

    Fear attacks your brain with spikes"

    That would be a metaphor.

  • Ravi
    Lv 4
    1 year ago

    Very nice. I like it. 

  • 1 year ago

    it sounds okay to me

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