Do you have to be the wife to buy things like clothes for your boyfriend child?

My boyfriend of 7 month's baby's mom said that if I'm not her baby's father wife, then I'm stupid for buying clothes etc for their child. I was only trying to be nice since we're having a baby too. 

8 Answers

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  • 3 weeks ago

    I think it is a nice gesture. The baby's mom may be feeling like you are trying to replace her so I would just try to make it clear to her that you respect her position as the mother of this child and that you just want to be on good terms with her and her baby.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Anyone can buy clothes for a baby, the B just does not want them  Keep them for your baby.

  • LizB
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Well, now you know that your gifts are inappropriate and unwelcome, to stop buying them. Besides, it's your boyfriend's job to buy things for his child, not yours. Don't let him foist that responsibility off to you.

  • 3 weeks ago

    The real question is why were you buying clothes for the baby, do you even have a relationship with that baby or the baby's mom? If it was an attempt of friendship, you don't owe that lady anything, and she may never like you. The best you can do is be a good person, and yes you should care about his other child, since that child is part of his life, but that child also isn't yours (think of the babies mom's point of view). If the baby isn't living with you and your bf then you don't need to buy them anything, atleast until the child gets a little older and you grow some kind of relationship with them.

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  • 3 weeks ago

    So you've been with a guy seven months, are having a baby with him, and are trying to butter up his existing baby mama?   Yeah, she's right.  Stick to your own kids.   Unless of course she asks for help, which is a different story.  But c'mon.  You know what's going on.  Your other question says you've only been living together three months and he's already getting on your nerves being inconsistent with his treatment of his ex.  And that you've never met his ex.  So you're buying baby stuff for a woman you've never met?  You aren't trying to be nice.  You aren't trying to help out.  You're trying to mark your territory. 

  • 3 weeks ago

    Yikes! What a mess!  It's a very bad idea to have babies with a man who isn't even willing to commit to you in marriage, especially if he already has a child by another woman. If the two of you stay together, then the baby's mom is going to have to realize that you are going to be part of the child's life. But try to give these kids some stability, for heaven's sake!

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Nothing wrong with buying your significant other's kids things they want/need even if you're not married.  

    My husband bought things for my 2 kids from my first marriage before we were married and still does (their dad was/is very in the picture too).

    Speaking of the kids from my first marriage, only one of them is biologically mine.  My ex and I had a separation and he fathered a child during it but we reconciled before she was born.  Long story short is that her bio mom lost custody before she was born and she ended up living with us.  So I not only bought her things, I adopted her and raised her as my own.  We divorced anyway a few years later and she went with me.  Since I was attached/bonded with her, to some extent I only stayed as long as I did so that when/if we divorced I could take her too.  If I couldn't take her, I'd probably still be with him.

    My ex's parenting got better as he and the kids got older.  My ex has another daughter who lives with him full time, I even buy her things.  Our girls are a lot older than her but she's the same age as my younger kids with my current husband.

  • y
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    She is very nicely giving you some advice in a round about way, make him put a ring on it.

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