Loaned $200k to friend; jerk move not to lend more?

A friend of mine started a business and then business was having cash flow problems, so I loaned money to it.  The total amount outstanding now is over $200,000, and there is no prospect of repayment (perhaps once he gets an inheritance in a few years, though).

He wants more, and I’ve made it clear that, as a condition of more loans, he needs to find other lenders and change the business model of his business so that the business is financially viable.

He’s working on doing both, but we’ve had round after round of negotiations and I think we’re both frustrated.

I’m ticked that he hasn’t paid the loan back (in violation of its terms) and even more ticked that he just seems to make dumb financial decisions generally.

Am I being a jerk by not loaning more money to him?  Even his family will not lend to him, and the lenders he’s talked to will not lend, so I feel like a sucker.  But friends need to be helpful, and we are both Christians and are aware of the Biblical requirement to lend when asked.



Matthew 5:42 says to give to those who ask.  So does Luke 6:30.

Update 2:

Both the friend and the company are co-borrowers and I have a security interest in all of their assets.

13 Answers

  • Judy
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    No, YOU aren't being a jerk, he is.You feel like a sucker because you ARE.

  • Anonymous
    2 weeks ago

    $200k, wow.  I'm considering loaning $50k to a SIL and wondering how much of a risk I'm willing to take that she decides not to pay it back.

    • East2 weeks agoReport

      For my experience: don’t do it.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    You want to throw good money after bad?  Have at it.

  • 3 weeks ago

    You can take him to court over this. Consult with a lawyer. I would NOT lend him more money.

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  • John
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    I'm amazed that you managed to have the amount to begin with. The Bible says to be nice to each other, not how to invest in the stock market.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    You've offered him a second loan if he upholds his end of the existing loan contract (which he hasn't) and meets some basic common sense lending criteria for any additional funds (which he hasn't). 

    You haven't refused to lend to him.   He has declined your second loan because he can't meet or doesn't like the terms of either loan.   That's HIS issue, not YOUR issue.

    Is there a Biblical requirement that you reward someone with money for not honoring their commitments?    

    Is there a Biblical requirement that you must lend (gift) large amounts of money to someone who is going to lose it in a failure of a for-profit business?

    If such requirements exist, it's a pretty silly book.

    And no you're not a jerk.  Your friend is using religion as a tool to manipulate you.

  • Lolly
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Since it's a requirement, maybe he could lend you some money this time.

    Find a backbone and say no.

    For every subject in the bible, there is a contradictory passage somewhere. That's why it's not an excuse book!

  • audrey
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    You were a jerk for loaning it to him in the first place. You'll never get a penny.

  • Eva
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    You would be a fool to lend (give) him any more money when you have no security and it would appear that the business is bleeding money. It's very likely you will not see a dime of the money you've already loaned.

  • Kyle
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    being helpful is one thing.  but loaning money is always a sticky situation.  you needed to set a time limit to repay your loan when you gave it.  if he didn't meet it, you wouldn't give him any more until he does.  he needs to prove he can handle your investment before other potential investments.

    if its family is also not contributing, that is also a sign to walk away.  don't let him take you down also.  

    i would like you to point out where it says in the bible to lend out money when asked from a friend.  that way i'll know this isn't a troll post. 

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