Is it always the best decision to follow your heart and keep trying?
I complete adore the mother of my children but we have been broken up for a year because of my mistakes
We are currently getting along really well and I've been staying with her alot. I'm putting so much effort in to making things okay and I don't always know that its appreciated.
We both have our own issues but my main worry is that I'm scared of getting hurt and i don't know whether I'm doing everything I'm doing to just be let down.
I know this is abit of a sad post but I just want to know that is it always worth it to follow your heart
- Anonymous9 months agoFavorite Answer
By the sounds of it as you say you broke up by your mistakes, and if she was on the same page you wouldnt be asking this. it sounds as if your expecting her to be where your at but she might not be. If theres hurt and anger, even trust issues, things can only be resolved with time and you have to be patient with her too as well. You cant just jump back into something and hope it will all be fixed straight away even when your getting along. You have to do some things to make her see your genuine like you say but then wait for her to come to you when or if she feels the same way.
Things cant be forced because then they dont work out. Focus on yourself, focus on what you have going on and be a father to your kids, help her with kids if she needs it, help her if she asked, just be a good person and in time she may come to feel the way you do again, but dont expect things to just magically be the way they were before you broke up especially if things went bad.
Maybe you staying with her isnt such and good idea, especially if your both on different wavelengths. You will only get annoyed that she isnt where your at and it will hurt you overall. Which im guessing is already happening by the sounds of your question.
Following your heart can only work if the other person wants that too. But following your heart isnt always the answer either.
Sounds like your trying a bit too hard, we can all try to make other people want us and to appreciate us but if you did hurt her then you need to take a step back and like i said let her come to you. You cant just pin all your hopes and dreams thinking that you can make things better when you trying to force it wont make things better it might actually push her further away.
I know from experience that you can love someone so much it hurts and want them to be with you, but if you hurt them you cant force them to want you and to forgive you right away. It only ends badly in the end. You can try and try your hardest but you wont get what you want when you want. You cant expect things from someone when they are hurt and angry, because you wont get the things your expecting, and sounds like your expecting way too much from her in this moment in time.
Just be patient, focus on yourself and your kids and just be good to her but take a step or 2 back and see if the situation improves in time, and maybe stop staying with her and give you both space to figure things out for yourselves. Sort yourself out first before anything else and be a better person for you. Focusing on someone else completely when they are not where your at will drive you crazy.Source(s): Experience
- 9 months ago
Of course it is!
- FoofaLv 79 months ago
If you haven't had any professional couples' counseling you should try that before making any major decisions.
- JanetLv 79 months ago
Couples who can make it work ... do make it work. The biggest predictor of incompatibilty is a breakup, and should you get back, the same thing will happen again (we change only very slowly, so the same conditions for breaking up that lie within us are still there).
Love is ONLY 11% of what makes a relationship last, so it is painful when we love someone who turns out to be incompatible with us. I'm sorry for this, but you need to let go and move on. You could try getting some couple's counseling first, just to see if anything can be built that will last.
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- glcangLv 79 months ago
Here’s the thing...you have expectations and that is a problem. It’s not unusual, most of us do but when we want’ to be appreciated’ we are sitting ourselves up. It is like we are assuming that the other person is supposed to follow the plan that we have made for how things should happen.
It is impossible for someone who doesn’t know you to give real advice about your relationship.
But I can tell you this that all good relationships start with self love. You must feel worthy in order to receive the love of another. So many of us were so,poorly taught that we don’t have much of a clue about how to be in a real relationship that is not codependent.
Get quiet with yourself and find out what you are afraid of. Embrace your fears . Don’t try and fix them. There are there to teach you something. Become humble and don’t assume or expect anything from anyone. No-one owes you anything .
- Anonymous9 months ago
Do either of you believe in GOD? If you two do, you both should be feeling real LOVE in your lives also. Yet you do not type of this.
It is Atheists that cannot feel any LOVE!