.. asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 8 months ago

Am I being unreasonable. Roommate questions.?

Since September I have been living in a small 3 bedroom apartment with two other roommates. One of my roommates has a friend from MTL ( we live in ON), & nearly every single week since the end of September my roommates friend has been coming down to ON to come and visit her. She will typically stay in our apartment anywhere from 1 - 1 & a half weeks. I personally don’t mind my roommates having company over, but the fact that her friend is here so often & stays for some time is kind of like we have a fourth roommate. Her friend also does not clean anything & has had her boyfriend over on a few occasions as well. I want to know if it would be reasonable to ask my roommate if she could possibly have her friend over a little bit less.

Also, we are currently all in University. Her friend attends Uni in MTL, but misses A LOT of her classes to come down to ON.

8 Answers

  • 8 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    You are not being unreasonable. All three of the rent-paying roommates need to sit down and discuss any and all issues and set up your house rules. This is a great time to not only deal with the constant visitor, but to set any other rules about cleaning, quiet time, other chores, use of bathrooms or cupboard space, etc. Get in all out there and get everyone to agree.  In the future, this should be done BEFORE you agree to be roommates.  The question here is whether or not your third roommate feels the same way you do or if you're the only one that feels taken advantage of.

    Here are some things to discuss and consider:

    1. Overnight guests can only stay x numbers of nights and or x number of consecutive nights.

    2.  Your roommate with the constant guest needs to pay more rent by about 1/4 and that money either comes off your rent or you use it to hire a cleaner.

    3.  The house guest is told that she needs to pull her own weight in terms of cleaning, etc.

    4.  No guests are allowed to have their own guests (the boyfriend). 

    5.  No guests can stay alone in the apartment all day -- either they are with the friend or out and about.

    As for the guest's academic problems, that really isn't your business.  

  • 8 months ago

    It is not unreasonable to ask your roomate to cut the time her friends or boyfriend spend at the apartment.

    You rented this place on the understanding you'd share it w two people, not three, not four.

    Also, you need to talk to her about keeping the common spaces clean and organized. It's not acceptable that her friend spends time there and on top of that doesn't clean anything.

  • 8 months ago

    Did you all ever talk about visitors and them staying overnight? If so, what were the stipulations? I think the guest is definitely overstaying their welcome and is this person different from the boyfriend also staying over? You can't be so inconsiderate to do what you want at your discretion when there are two other people renting the place. If she has that much need for freedom, she should get her own place or go over to their places instead.

  • mmm
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    what was the agreement before you all moved in? are you trying to uphold the rules or create new rules?

    uphold rules? just a reminder should do

    new rules require everyone to be in agreement . . .

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  • 8 months ago

    I think that there needs to be a "house meeting" where this issue is discussed. Roommates need to honor each other all around. There need be a house agreement, house rules, and house exceptions.... all discussed.

  • martin
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    It does seem that your roommate has overstepped the reasonable bounds of having a friend over. Your roommate is dominating the apartment at the expense of yourself and the third roommate. You'd be way within your bounds to ask that this visitor come less often and stay way less time.

  • drip
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    At this  point they are staying much too long . They need to stop or start paying their share of the rental and utilities. 

    You and the other roommate need to sit down and have a talk with the third roommate.  

    You need to get some rules straight for all of you,

  • Linda
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    I would and I think it is very rude of your roommate to let her friend stay so often at the expense of the rest of you. Speak up and let it be known how you feel or it will continue.

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