Did I cheat on my husband? And am I a lesbian?

So here's what happened. I recently slept with my best friend. We are both in our mid-thirties. Known each other for almost 30 years. 

I've been married for 10 years, and things between my husband and I have been decent. But over the course of a year, frankly I've been questioning my sexuality.

My best friend is bisexual, and one night after a few glasses of wine, at her house, we started talking about life, I asked her certain things about being with women, as opposed to men, and what she said turned me on, and somehow we started kissing, which led to caressing, and eventually we found ourselves in bed having sex.

The next morning, we had sex again, and it was frankly even better than the night before. I liked it I have to say, and wouldn't mind doing it again, especially with her.

Did I cheat on my husband, seeing as their was no dick involved? And does this now mean I'm a lesbian or what?

11 Answers

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  • reme_1
    Lv 7
    10 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Honey, cheating is cheating. Just because there was no dick involved does not spare you from dealing with your cheating. Having lesbian sex with your best friend is pushing you toward accepting you secret feelings. Since you want to do this again, makes it sound like it is much more than curiosity, but a serious desire.

    You are going to have to search your 'soul' for what you truly want: life with your husband or life with your lady friend.

    You might want to call the gay center and talk to the counselor. This is coming from a SENIOR lesbian who was married also, but knew something was wrong.

  • 10 months ago

    yes, and you are lesbian if you bump fuzzes with females only

  • ?
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    You certainly did cheat on your husband. Doesn't necessarily mean you are lesbian, as having sex is not the same thing as a sexual preference.

  • 10 months ago

    Ofc you cheated. Just because it was with a woman, doesn't make it any less like cheating. Sounds like you might be bisexual

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  • 10 months ago

    Cheating doesn't require 'd!ck', troll.

  • 10 months ago

    technically; that is cheating. commitment involves just that, a commitment to your partner in crime. individuals in a relationship, decide the boundaries in their own commitments.

    perhaps, you could "negotiate" a new deal, which would allow you more freedom to explore your own sexual and gender-identity?

    there is no judgement involved here, just the idea that both you and your partner might be O.K. with more freedom in your individual sexuality while keeping a relationship based on "love" intact?

    after all, without "love", having sex is akin to simple "mutual-masturbation". 

    i consider sex to be a mutually beneficial relationship between two-adults. so, it is you who must ask yourself if it is a "beneficial" relationship.

  • 10 months ago

    I'm afraid that is cheating, yes. I'm sorry. It doesn't mean you're lesbian though.

  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    Trolling, trolling, trolling.

  • 10 months ago

    Cheat ? From a moral point of view, yes. However, if your husband doesn't any objections about you and this particular woman getting together occasionally for intimate fun, he could consider this as "sharing my wife".

  • Cogito
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    Yes, of course you cheated!

    It sounds like you're bisexual, but that's not an excuse to cheat!

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