Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsEngagements & Weddings · 8 months ago

A Question for women on their special day!?

If you were getting married to a man who everyone coming to the wedding knew wrote really great songs and was brilliant at expressing themselves.

Would you want them to write their vows to really go for it right in front of everyone letting everyone know how much you realy meant to them... But... It could risk being the most memorable part of the wedding and overshadow you as the bride... Or...

Would you want them to play it down so nothing overshadowed you on your day. As you could also read the real vows at anytime in private and still have them?

Update:

I seem to have balls'd this question up... I'm a man using a female avatar as I like to play games with tough guys who threaten women.

But It's good to see how people think!

10 Answers

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  • 8 months ago

    I would not be intimidated or feel upstaged by loving words and sentiments from my groom on OUR wedding day. I am more secure than that. Good grief!

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    An ode to someone highlights them, it doesn't "overshadow" them. In the scenario you paint it would still be all about the bride. But for me personally I'd rather have something with some humor to it than some gothic love poem. I believe the most intense parts of a romantic relationship should be conducted in private.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    I don't know if you are asking should you put on a show or something.  I would speak from the heart and let it flow freely... whether or not it impresses everyone.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    The brilliant writer is marrying someone who doesn't know the difference between "them" and "him"?  I doubt it.

    I married the man I love.  "Overshadowing" anyone or being "overshadowed" was the last thing on my mind.

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  • 8 months ago

    Ugh. I hate the big telling-everyone-how-you-feel thing. It's like one minute you're at a nice wedding and the next you've stumbled into the couple's bedroom. Just no. 

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Telling someone how you feel about them is NOT the same thing as a vow.

    Weddings are not meant to be entertainment, nor are they meant to be a competition or only about the BRIDE. 

    By the way, no one really remembers much if anything about weddings except the people who got married.   As I said, the purpose of a wedding ceremony doesn't have anything to do with being on stage or providing entertainment for an audience. 

    You sound about ten years too young to be having any serious thoughts about marriage. 

  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    It never crossed my mind to see our wedding as a competition, to view my betrothed as a rival star who must be prevented from upstaging me. But it also never crossed my mind to depart significantly from the traditional vows. References to "give away" and "obey" were quietly edited out and that was all the change needed. 

    Making the same old promises in same old way our parents and grandparents did is what makes the exchange of vows so wonderfully touching, so wonderfully meaningful to nearly all present. It's not about "the amazing story of how we came to love one another" nor about sharing ones deepest feelings with the general public. It's about those well known and well beloved, hence NOT boring, vows to have and hold, to forsake all others, to cherish and honor for better or for worse. 

    Save performances and entertainments for the celebration. Attending a marriage ceremony is about the honor of witnessing a new marriage come into being, not about the amusement of a novel entertainment. 

  • 8 months ago

    A wedding isn't just the bride's day; it's the bride AND groom's day. If you're worrying about being overshadowed, maybe you're not approaching your marriage in the right way.

  • 8 months ago

    So what if it's the biggest deal of the day? How flattering that would be. Weddings aren't all just about the bride, tho I know recently it seems that way. A man is getting married too.

  • 8 months ago

    Quite honestly, I really don’t give a shiiiit about wedding vows, mine or anyone else’s.

    Do what you want, but don’t be naive and egotistical enough to believe that your guests will be enthralled to tears with your flowery words. They’re either going to zone out or just cringe in embarrassment for you.

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