Anonymous asked in HealthWomen's Health · 2 months ago

HELP low sex drive ruining my relationship?

I am a 23 yr old female with almost zero sex drive. My boyfriend is 23 and thinks that I am not attracted to him because Im rarely interested in having sex. It's not JUST about sex I know, its about feeling close, intimacy, ect., but he gets so frustrated that he is passive aggressive and mean to me throughout the day. 

I try to have sex with him occasionally because I know how he feels about it and how he treats me when we aren't. We've talked about it and now he doesn't want me to have sex with him at all because he thinks Im only doing it because I feel pressure. While that is sort of true, at the same time I usually do enjoy myself as long as Im in a moderately good mood and it doesn't take very long. 

To me it feels like he is OBSESSED with sex and to be honest it grosses me out. I want to SO BADLY have a high sex drive and not have this problem because if I dont get help I honestly dont see my relationship working out. I was sexually abused as a child, which may have something to do with my disinterest, but I feel pretty recovered from that as I've gone to years of therapy. I have the Mirena IUD, a low hormonal birth control, which could be interfering, but apparently this is rare because of how low and localized the Mirena hormones are. I also take Wellbutrin and Zoloft to help with mood so those too could be hurting my sex drive. I am having my IUD removed tomorrow to see if that helps. 

If anyone has any helpful ideas or even even support I would be really happy.

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    your a woman, get over it. Its the same the world over

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  • 2 months ago

    Are you saying that you don't like him loving on you? That's the only way I know to turn a female on when she isn't too enamored about having sex. The very best thing I have found is that kissing a woman is the fastest way to turn her on and I do mean passionately kissing her neck, shoulders, in her mouth deeply, engaging her tongue, her breasts then her clitoris and licking her vulva, then sliding a finger in her vagina and rubbing the front of it and her clitty as well. He should enter you gently and tease you instead of shoving it in and hammering away. I would say you probably haven't had an orgasm because once you experience one of them it usually gives a women an urge to have sex more.

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