i broke things off with a girl, now shes cutting herself. what should i do?
I started talking to a girl a week and a half ago. Im a senior, and after finding out she was a freshman, for me its too young, and with me graduating soon I'm most likely moving 12 hours away to were most of my family lives. So for obvious reasons, I broke things off with her, and I know I'm genuinely a nice guy, and I explained everything to her. But she didnt look at it in my point of view. She went right to assumptions and said it was because she wasnt enough. Now, a couple days after ending things, she is starting to send me pictures of her thighs with cuts from a knife. What should I do? Do i give her the attention shes been asking for over the past couple days (she spammed love quotes like "When you love someone but they love you back" and saying stuff that I was the only reason she was happy) (Keep in mind we only talked for just over a week). Or Do lay off and wait for her to eventually move on?
- Anonymous1 month agoFavorite Answer
She's only what, 14? I feel bad for her. If her family is abusive I would NOT tell them. It'll only cause more turmoil. Even if you tell the school, they would notify her parents. There's not much you can do honestly. In this situation you can either keep talking to her and let her down easy, talk as friends and offer support if you care to. Or you can ignore her which I assume will be really hard on her but the best option for you. Another option is to give her someone else to talk to if you know anyone who likes helping people through hard times. As a girl who self harmed as a teen, I can tell you she's not "doing it to be manipulative". People don't slice their body open just to "get back at someone" or "get attention". You have to seriously hate yourself and be struggling with your mental health. It sounds like she genuinely can't cope with being rejected and lonely. When someone's negative thoughts are too strong it can come out in ways such as self harm, addiction, etc. Telling school counselors or parents will just escalate the situation and cause more distress for the person exhibiting this behavior. She just needs someone to talk to, and it's up to you whether or not it'll be you who she talks to.
If you cut contact be very polite and reassuring but keep it brief. Say: "You're a nice girl, but I just can't date someone under 18 when I'm almost 18. That's nothing wrong with YOU so don't take it out on yourself. You don't need to hurt yourself. It's unhealthy for me to continue talking to you, but please take care of yourself and talk to someone you trust about self harm. I wish you the best and hope things turn out well for you in life."
Give HER the option of talking to someone about the self harm and cut contact. It's not your place to report this to police or school. It would be terrifying as a 14 year old to be "told on" then cut off. It would be a huge betrayal and could easily be the type of situation that causes conflict within her family and leads to her parents abusing her more. If it were a younger child I'd say tell the parents, but since she's in high school more discretion can be used.
That's the best you can do.
- 1 month ago
i would call the wambulance if i were you
- alexisLv 51 month ago
You don't do anything. Her mental illness is not your responsibility, especially being a kid. She will only drag you down. Just tell an adult (her parents, school counselor, etc.). She is clearly very unstable and you dodged a bullet.
- SheilaKLv 41 month ago
Do not let her manipulate her or control you. You have your life and live it as you please. This is like a spoiled child saying " if you do not give me my own way, I will hurt myself and you are responsible for it." Do NOT EVER allow this in your life.
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- HelenLv 71 month ago
Send the photos to her friends and family.
Delete and block number.
- 1 month ago
Her behaviour doesn't match only being around someone a week. Are you sure she didn't like you for a long time? I would actually speak to adult about this, maybe even a family member, her family
- 1 month ago
I say the best thing to do is get her some help and stay tf away from that crazy bi bi.
- Chae-wonLv 51 month ago
She is very depressed and I am not sure that you are in high school or college. Self-harm can be serious and something needs to be done, regardless of attention-seeking or not.
- Emily RoseLv 61 month ago
She's manipulating you she's probably only doing that to get your attention. Get her some kind of help and show those pictures to a professional on the off chance that she does have some kind of mental issues so she's in a place where she can't hurt herself anymore. It's not your job to save her and take on her issues for her. She needs to face that battle on her own with the support of professionals and the fact that she felt she wasn't enough when that wasn't anywhere near the truth shows that it's an issue with her and that she has low self esteem.
- PatriciaLv 71 month ago
She's trying to manipulate you and she's doing this because she already had underlying mental illness/emotional issues which she's obviously had for a long time.
If i were you? I'd tell her parent (in private) what you know.
You do know this isn't your fault. Cutting seems to be a huge fad these days and it's running rampant. the truth about it is, it wasn't like this 30 years ago, until people started it up on the internet. This is not to say that a MINORITY of people self-harmed for thousands of years, but the internet has caused a variety of life messes, as far as i've seen (i'm not young).
If you don't tell her Mom or Dad then do you know a friend of hers who might be able to do that? She needs some attention from an adult - and also a doctor. She's needed help for a long time, as i said.
Sorry you're going through this. Her behavior is what i call negative attention seeking. It's sad. but NOT YOUR FAULT. It's been her choice to do this.
- atomic fireballLv 61 month ago
Borderline personality disorder. Watch the movie ‘fatal attraction’ . You don’t have a pet rabbit do you?