Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 8 months ago

How do I handle the situation below at Christmas?

So I will be seeing my sister on Dec. 28th at a large family event. She is 26 but stunted at about eleven. She bullies like a child in a 4th grade classroom. We have some cousins we will be seeing and she will start to say insults about me in front of them. Childish insults like I talk too much, I smell, I am socially awkward, I am mentally ill, etc....

Now I can bully her and call her Ms. Crohn's but I am not going to since at 31 I know better. However, how do I respond. Do I pull her aside and say "we are hear for Grandma and Aunt Linda so please act like an adult and name call by text". Do I just stand there while she belittles and insults me and have a smile on my face? Do I refuse to talk to my cousins and just sit with Aunt Linda who sees me all the time and her friends and in-laws who are total strangers?

How do I react so my disgusting sister will stop without me making a fool of myself also. Last summer when I saw her last I grabbed her by the shoulders and told her to grow the hell up but that was just immediate family around. Here we will be with cousins we seldom see and non-relatives we don't know. I want to visit with the cousins, not the strangers my aunt knows.

I am 31 so don't want to get our parents involved as I find that childish. This sister is your classic playground bully but is age 26.

9 Answers

Relevance
  • 8 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ultimately, you need to do what is best for your mental and emotional wellbeing. There is no obligation to engage with your sister, so decide what is going to support you on the day. Who do you want to spend your time with during this get together? Where do you want to spend your emotional and mental energy? Giving your sister any attention may only escalate her behavior, so think about what is best for you. If you decide to interact with your sister, keep it at the surface level and when/if necessary you need to take a step back, then do so. Simply because there is a family connection, does not negate how you feel nor does this give your sister permission to be deliberately provocative and hurtful.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Troll.

    Repeat question.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Is your sister is developmentally delayed like this is could be that no amount of reasoning will change her behavior. You can ask her to insult you, but she probably won't stop if that's what her childlike mind is telling her to do.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    People who bully do so because they have low self-esteem and jealousy issues.  Walk away and continue visiting with your cousins and extended family.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 8 months ago

    what do your cousins do when this happens?  do they ignore her? if so--do the same and let your sis just twist in the wind while everyone ignores her bad behavior.  if they join in or support her in any way...wth would you go there?  you are 31 -you do not need that kind of family garbage..so stay home and eat Chinese and let them find someone else to pick on.  

  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    How about you accept that your sister is who she is and there's nothing you can do to make her stop? You seem to think "I can't just do nothing." You think wrong. That's exactly what you do. If your sister chooses to try to make scenes, try to start fights, then let her. But don't allow yourself to be baited into being part of any scenes, any fights. Rising to the bait is a choice. 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    just dont say much to her

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Go away with your silly trolling questions.

  • 8 months ago

    Truthfully, you Should just avoid her if possible and if not, then ignore her. Like a playground bully, she’s just getting off on reactions to her behavior, good or bad, therefore don’t give her a reaction. It won’t stop immediately, but it should eventually. Don’t be too embarrassed about it, people will know that she’s stunted and will probably ignore her comments as well.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.