Can you rate my book? Restless Nights: 6 Spine Tingling Tales Of Mystery, Horror and Suspense!Available on Kindle Unlimited,Muxin Dreshnare?

5 Answers

  • 8 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    In response to your answer to "Anonymous", I did read more, right up until "It is calm at the bottom of the lake."

    I stopped counting the shifts from present tense to past tense, I found two typos (spine tingling = spine-tingling, a miss = amiss), and at one point you have six sentences in a row starting with "she", followed by three alternating ones, followed by another three sentences starting with "she". The latter might be a stylistic choice, but it's not a good one, at least not here.

    Also, there are some odd sentences, like "Without haste, she immediately runs down the stairs and out into the street".

    What you do have going for you is the mystery, the opening scene in the bar was a good choice, but you are relying heavily on telling instead of showing, and the 3rd person omniscient point of view makes it even more difficult for the reader to engage in the story.

    I did skim the next part as well, and the whole thing reads a bit like a video game and not a novel. Were you inspired by a video game?

    I really don't like rating other people's writing, so I am not going to do that, but my advice would be to take down this piece and at least fix the tense shifts. I find it shocking that you had three beta-readers on this piece and not one picked up on those. You need to find better beta-readers.

    Of course, if I were you, I would join some writing workshops, study the craft, and rewrite the whole thing before publishing it again. In my opinion, you're not ready to publish just yet, and having a piece like this up will do your future writing career more harm than good.

  • 8 months ago

    It's not what you want to hear, but if I were to rate based on what I read--all that's available using Look Inside--it would not be a favorable rating.

    So I figure I'm doing you a small kindness not rating it. I have ethical standards about not rating a book I did not read to the end.

    I get that you were excited about this idea and wrote your stories. I could understand if you felt you couldn't afford a cover artist proficient at design. (That font is pretty bad.) But you do not get to skip away blameless with any "I'm unique" bullshyte about the mistakes in your writing. That's what they are, flat-out mistakes, not your own special style. You don't appear to have the basic competence with written English that publishing demands.

    If I were giving my advice as a professional (I have commercially published books), I'd recommend you pull this title and pay for a professional edit, which is going to cost you more than you're likely to earn. It's money worth spending if you make sure you understand why the editor made every correction she did. Make yourself a document listing the mistakes she fixed, and what makes them mistakes, and how to fix them. When you finish your next book, go over it in as many passes as it takes to be positive you didn't make those same mistakes again. (Never fear, you'll be making new ones! We all do.)

    If I were rating it based only on Look Inside? Two stars, tops. Ow, huh? But those mistakes matter. Every one of them yanks me out of your story. Every. Single One.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Nope.  There's a fragment posted as a blurb.  In the first two sentences alone it transitions from present tense to past tense, then back again.  If you don't care enough about your work to take a few minutes to proofread it, why would anyone else care enough to invest the time to read it?

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    I don't have Kindle Unlimited and there are no reviews.

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  • Matt
    Lv 5
    8 months ago

    You should have it peer-reviewed.

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