What matters the intention or outcome of the intention? ?

I wanted to ask your advice about a situation that I am fairly confused of handling. 

So there is this guy who is my brothers friend. I've never had any personal communication and have never interacted with him myself. The only thing I have heard about him from a couple of friends was that he was abit of a womenizer, sleeps with multiple woman, and was soon to be engaged. 

In October he decided to follow me on instagram from his business account. I didn't think much of it, since I don't have any relation to him, so I deleted the request as I only want people that I actually have relations with.  

Recently he added me on facebook which thought was strange. Why would a guy that I don't really know or have any personal relation with want to add me? 

I don't know this guys intentions at all, but I know if I was soon to be engaged to a partner who is adding/following girls/guys on instagram and face book that he doesn't know, I would feel hurt. 

If my partner was doing this, I would love to know myself as I would be hurt. With good intentions, I told his partner that her man was trying to add/follow me, but that I deleted his requests. I just wanted her to be aware of it.

Did I think he wanted to hook up? No. I just wanted her to be aware of the behavior of her partner. She got really upset and I apologized to her, but I truly felt like she needed to know. 

If I have good intentions but the outcome is bad, does that make me a bad person? 

2 Answers

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  • Iam
    Lv 6
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    I would say "no" it doesn't. From waht you say, the guy seems to be a sleazebag and he is basically lying to and cheating on his intended life partner. The girl SHOULD know before she makes a commitment to a life of misery.

    So although she has experienced short term pain, think how much you have saved her in the long term.

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  • Linda
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    Hi Shalani, I'll try to give you my opinion on your problem and I hope it helps. I take it you like your brother's friend? It sounds like a crush. He also has a bit of a reputation, which might spell trouble if you get involved with him. He definitely is targeting you as someone to pursue. I would have denied his request too since you don't know him. He isn't one to give up easy so he is trying through Facebook now. He may want a fling with you or he might actually like you. Are you sure he is engaged? That might be a rumor. If he is engaged, that's not cool. I don't think I would have went so far as to contact his gf and told her. You stirred up trouble when you didn't need to. His intentions could have been as a friend or they may have been dishonorable. I don't understand why you went to her. He didn't say hey babe, let's hook up, so you don't know his intentions. She got upset and she may accuse him of something that he didn't do since you never talked to him to understand where he was coming from or not. You're not a bad person but you didn't know for sure and so you rattled on him, more or less. The outcome of the intention is what matters the most and in this case, you should have just blocked him and said nothing. Don't feel guilty any longer and let this be a learning experience in the future.

    • Shalani2 months agoReport

      I appreciate your response. 
      However two things:
      1. He is engaged - this is fact not gossip as my brothers has confirmed 
      2. I don't have a crush on him - I'm happily with another man 
      Not sure if that changes things . . . 

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