Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 5 months ago

What are some polite strategies I can use to avoid some family members tomorrow?

I've been on "not so good" terms with grandma the past few years and I've had very mixed to just plain awful feelings around her. Sometimes she just feels like she's trying to suck everyone's energy in the room, and it makes me feel almost sick and a little angry even for a few days after her visit. My mom agrees that I'm not crazy, but she just wants everyone to get along, at least.

I will get along with her, but I also have set my limits for what I would and would not talk about and deal with when it comes to her anymore. Ever since I've grown up a bit and reached my late 20s she's been nothing but rude to me with her expectations, and when she's not ramming expectations down my throat she's gloating about how much this family member or that family member is better than me.

It should just be very easy to brush off someone like this and in the past I've just laughed in her face sometimes, but I'm just sick of her ruining my Christmases.

She also never has anything nice to say when something good happens to you. Just to use an example this year both of my parents got me a very big present and I was even allowed to open it a month early. My parents would show anyone and everyone who came over and the most they would say is "that's nice" or "that's wonderful" and the conversation would move on to something else.

*continue

Update:

However, the first thing my grandmother said was "Aren't you worried the dog is going to get that?" To this I had to reply "I'm sure my parents were thinking about the dog the moment they bought it." That was our conversation over the phone and I'm just not looking forward to her b!tchyness this year over every little thing. We've already had enough drama this afternoon with a different family member, and I think that's why I'm so fed up right now with Christmas drama.

Update 2:

If you're not too sure don't bother wasting time, idiot. You are blocked and reported. Go do something else if you don't know how to answer questions properly.

Update 3:

Ah, lucky. I wish I could do that. Unfortunately - my grandmother is coming here. She also treats my mom like garbage but she puts up with it anyways. One of the things my grandma knitpicks my parents and me about is not going to church, and apparently everyone in our family who goes to church is better than us.

6 Answers

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  • 5 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Even if your parents want to be 'nice' and not confront anyone, doesn't mean you have to follow those rules.

    You are an adult, you are in control and you accept what you want.

    My father's mother was a nasty, awful, mean person that never had anything good to say about anyone else. Everyone tip toed around her, just letting her say awful, mean, rude things about people without stopping her. because they didn't want to fight.

    That's not right! Refuse to deal with her, refuse to take her criticism, refuse to just listen to her talk bad about others.

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  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    You can't control what grandma says and does, but you can control how you react.  Just walk away when she starts talking to you in that manner.

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  • 5 months ago

    Agree with everything she says regardless of whether or not you believe it to be so.  You can't fight with someone who agrees with you, nor are you inclined to pick on someone who agrees with you.  You may need to practice so it doesn't come off as sarcasm, as that would be rude.

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  • 5 months ago

    Put on an imaginary suit of golden armour, and visualise the unkind remarks (or those you perceive to be unkind - be very careful not to imagine a slight when none is intended) as arrows, harmlessly bouncing off your armour and falling to the ground. That way you won't allow her to ruin your day. You could turn it around and try to help her to have a lovely day! Either way try to avoid taking anything OVER seriously - including her (without being unkind) and even yourself. Have a lovely day!

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  • 5 months ago

    Can't you just tolerate her and be adult about it? I've had relatives who eat at me a little but I just don't let it own me. You are the one who needs work. She can't offend you unless you let her.

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  • arther
    Lv 5
    5 months ago

    Don't go is what Im going to do it will upset my mum but I hate the rest of them so I m not going.

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