Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 9 months ago

My boyfriend got another girl pregnant while we were broken up ?

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. We had been a little on and off because of a problem we had. In the beginning of the summer we broke up and he found someone else simply to fool around with. She got pregnant by mistake, she didn’t want it at first but then she changed her mind. He felt bad and responsible so he decided to stay with her even though he wasn’t in love with her. By then, we had already spoken about getting back together. Now, 5 months later he still wants to be with me and is just trying to find a logical and honest way to break up, he’s just scared to lose the baby or have any other problems with her. He respects her and cares for her because she’s done nothing wrong to him and she’s the mother of his child but he’s not in love. I’m still in love with him and so is he, we want to be together but I’m scared I don’t know if we’ll be able to be together again after this child comes. Some people tell me no but others have told me that if our feelings are 100% real and we make an effort we’ll be ok. That I’ll love the baby as well because it’s part of him as long as the other girl doesn’t cause any problems ( she has feelings For him). 

Any opinions? 

8 Answers

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    9 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    He's choosing his child and honestly that's what he needs to, the baby needs him more than you do.  When you're with someone who has kids ..  like it or not that kids other parent to an extent is also part of the package.

    My ex fathered a child during a separation we had (and we reconciled before she was born) only in our situation we were married and he didn't know about the child until after she was born when the state was looking for a father because they were terminating her parental rights.  He was the 6th guy they tested but he knew from seeing a picture that she was his because she looked a lot like a daughter we share.  I ended up adopting after her 1st birthday and raising her as my own.  We did let her bio mom be part of her life but she was in and out of it (by her own choices) but inconsistent, she would either not show up for visits or she'd be high.  She actually died when she was 5.  Her family has always been part of the picture.  Not that we had to but because it was good for her.

    Being a parent isn't just when it's convenient to you.  We ended up divorcing anyway a few years later and she went with me.  I don't have any regrets in choosing to be her mom and I'm the only mom she knows.  Since she was so young, I was able to bond quite well with her.

    In your situation...  mom and child will always be part of the picture.  If you can't see yourself going to school functions, birthday parties, etc and sitting next to her..  this isn't the situation for you.  I'm remarried and my current husband does all of that...  he accepted a child who was mine and one who biologically wasn't.  He gets along well with my ex-husband (so do I) and he sat next to him their first school event and the day they graduated high school...  and everything in between.  Holiday's, birthday's, dance recitals, school plays, parent/teacher conferences, etc.  You name it ..  my husband and ex-husband were both there.

  • 8 months ago

    Your boyfriend owes that baby everything.... but he owes the girl nothing. He should be able to go on with his life and when the baby is born he can begin child support payments and get visitation. He should do everything in his power for the child but he doesn't have to marry her or anything else. 

  • 9 months ago

    My opinion is - this sounds like too much for me. I wouldn't go back with the guy and i'd move on. He's too scared to tell her the truth so he's with her in a big lie.

  • 9 months ago

    dump him.....................

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  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    Is it possible that between the three of you, you could decide to have that baby as yours and his, after married?  Yet still let her stay in the baby's life, as a aunt? 

    Pray to GOD and ask GOD what He thinks. 

  • 9 months ago

    Here's the problem with this situation. The mother of his baby will be in his and your life for the foreseeable future. Are you prepared to deal with and accept that? Its your life and your choice, but in my opinion, you should dump this guy immediately.

  • Kieth
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    He's got another girl and a baby to support, do you want him to get you pregnant too?

  • 9 months ago

    I feel like you’d be facing many years of drama and fighting with the baby mama and may not be worth the stress and tears to come - and they will come. 

    It’s unfortunate but I personally would not be able to continue seeing him or consider a future with him. 

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