Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 month ago

I was molested by an LA Fitness member. Is it my fault?

Okay, this is a true story. When I was 13, I joined LA Fitness with my mom and went with her all the time from when I was 13 -16. We always went to the jacuzzi and pool. There was a man there who she always talks to. He was married, was a father, and a grandfather. When I was 15, he touched me inappropriately when we were sitting next to each other in the jacuzzi. He didn't say anything that was bad, he just touched me on my butt, my legs thigh area, my crotch. The time span that he continued touching me was for a year, for over 50 times. I did not tell mother until I was 16 and could not take it anymore. She confessed to me that whatever he did to me, was exactly what he did to her, and that he has done it for a long time ever since they met when she became a member 10 years ago. Then she reported it to the LA Fitness and he got arrested and got banned from LA Fitness for the rest of his life. 

Now, what everyone in LA Fitness told me was, "Why on earth did you not open your mouth and say, "DON'T TOUCH ME!" He thought you must of liked it! It's your fault!" 

Is it really my fault? Why did my mom not even think that since he touched her, that he would touch me too? And if he did it to her for 10 years, why did she never complain about it? 

12 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    I think you and your Mum loved it HAHAHA Holy Moly you both kept quiet whats up with that ?

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  • 1 month ago

    Your mom is the person who decided to associate with a psychopath so it is her fault. Many kids have a parent who associates with a psychopath person and the kid cannot do anything about it.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    you should of told him off the first time he did it. your mom should of told you to stay away from him since he did the same thing to her. it is your mom's fault

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  • polly
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    No.

    And the people at LA fitness should know better than to jump on their judgmental high horse & suggest that it's your fault for the abuse.

    It's incredibly hard for 15 year old kids to assert themselves when they're put in a situation with someone that's far older than they are & it's only recently that kids that have been interfered with feel that they're going to be believed & supported by law enforcement & society when they come forward with their reports of abuse, hence why your mother never said anything about her abuse.

    That's why historic sex abuse cases keep coming up all the time.

    Be proud of yourself that you didn't wait for 20 years or more to come forward.

    You've probably already helped save other young girls from being abused by that man by your actions of coming forward already.

    Even if you did say "don't touch me,I don't like that!" doesn't necessarily mean that the guy that molested you would have stopped.

    & I'm not saying that you did like him touching you, but even if you did like what he was doing to you, you weren't legally old enough to give consent,so for him to molest you was highly illegal & he deserves to have the full weight of the responsibility of the crime on his shoulders, not yours

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  • Edna
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You are trying to convince us that you and your mother are both such zombies that some guy in LA Fitness Center sexually  molested YOU for over one year from the time  you were 15 and you never opened up your mouth to tell anyone about it; and he also sexually molested your mother for 10 years, and SHE never told anybody either? SURE, HE DID!! 

    I'll tell you what:  I've got some fine ocean-front property in Arizona that I want to sell. I'm willing to cut the selling price in half, just for you. Are you interested?? 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Well I don't understand why you let somebody do what you knew was wrong did you like it? If you didn't like it then why didn't you say help get away from me pervert? Why didn't you cry out for help? The Bible says that if a person is being molested or raped and did not cry out for help that the person that was doing the right or the molestation is not guilty of anything! It's implied consent. From the point of the law it's still child molestation. But from the standpoint of morality if you permit it that's implied consent! Friend if something bad is happening stop it from happening don't set there and let them do it! Do what the word of God says cry out for help!

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  • 1 month ago

    It is NEVER the victim's fault, even if they do something stupid that makes it easier to be a victim.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i dont think its your fault

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  • 1 month ago

    Yes , you could have / should have reacted to his touching.  Yes, he may have thought that you liked it as much as he did.  But, he was the experienced adult and you were the inexperienced child.  

    Your mom accepted (maybe encouraged ?) his behavior for 10 years.  What your mom and this man do is their business, (although I expect that your father may be interested).  She obviously went back for more 'attention' for 10 years.   Why she would bring you along or expect you to be treated any differently by this old perv.??

    The people at LA Fitness may be correct in instructing you to yell "Don't touch me!", but if they say that it is your fault, they have crossed a line.  They are not professional, not empathetic, and darn near not human.

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  • Snoopy
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    That's a bit excessive to expect that. What if someone had a disability or couldn't speak? I always say something or screamed as a child too. Idk why some kids don't scream. 

    I'm highly sensitive so I kinda feel someone's crazy. I used to see molesters miles away and scream. 

    After 18 I give them the b*tch look. Unless it's someone I like I look at men who stand too close really badly. 

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