Going by first name in Japan?
Not going into the details, but some painful events in my past have left me with an extreme dislike for being referred to by my last name. Put simply, everyone who has been nice and kind to me has used my first name and everyone who has been horrible to me has used my last name. The conditioning has resulted in me seeing my last name as a term of disrespect (since it always came coupled with other disrespects).
I should stress that I have no problem calling others by their last name, and I do not feel I am disrespecting them by calling them it (unless they have otherwise said).
My reason for asking is that I want to visit Japan one day, and want to know if it would be okay to ask that people (such as my guide) use my first name. I understand that this might be weird for them, and I have no problem calling them by their last name (with appropriate honorific).
I know Japan is a culture built on politeness and respect. Not using a term someone finds disrespectful seems like something they'd understand and agree with, but I'm a little unsure. I'm normally very much a 'when in Rome' type of person, but I don't want to subconsciously start seeing everyone there as disrespectful due to some painful events in my past.
- bluebellbkkLv 71 month agoFavorite Answer
You say you 'want to visit Japan one day'. As it appears you're not boarding a plane to Japan tomorrow, I can't imagine why you're fretting about this right now.
Wait till you're actually ready to plan your visit. Who knows: by then you may have got over your difficulty.
- FoofaLv 71 month ago
If you're an adult and you've already completed a course of talk therapy to make some sense of this aversion you should just legally change your surname then you won't have to behave like a name nazi everywhere you go.
- PearlLv 71 month ago
you might need to use your last name for certain things
- Anonymous1 month ago
Ask them, and explain why, politely, or let it go when you visit, they’re being polite and do not know your history.
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- 1 month ago
Just know that it is considered disrespectful in Japan to address people by their first names.