Ari asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 month ago

Is a bar mitzvah a closed or open event?

So can people walk in and out of such a ceremony without really knowing the person, or is it a closed event?

And how many people usually attend or does that just depend on the size of the community?

8 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    This would normally be closed to people who aren't members of the temple where it's occurring (assuming it's at a synagogue). But if it's in a hotel ballroom or something of course it's limited to the invited guests. You wouldn't crash someone's wedding so you shouldn't help yourself to some kid's b'nai mitzvah. Last year I attended a bat mitzvah with only about 30 guests. In a month I have to go to a bar mitzvah with a guest list of hundreds. It's all about what the family wants to do.

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  • Rico
    Lv 5
    4 weeks ago

    The religious ceremonies are open to the public, and are held on the days the Torah is normally to be read in the synagogue.  (usually Shabbat and feast days). The party afterward is only by invitation

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  • PAMELA
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    It is an event for invited friends and family, why would you go to such an event if you do not know the young man having his bar mitzvah?

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  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I don't know about bar/bat mitvahs, but I do know about traditional wedding etiquette. So I offer this in case bar/bat mitvah etiquette works the same way. 

    If the exchange of vows is a religious ceremony conducted in a place of worship, then that same "who can attend" rules apply that apply to other religious ceremonies and services at that place of worship. Usually that means anyone may attend services. 

    If there is a celebration, a party, after the religious service then like any other party admittance may be limited to only those who have been specifically invited. No, celebration hosts aren't required to make extra room at their party to accommodate people who haven't been invited to the party in the basis of those people choosing to attend the preceding religious service. In some churches it's usual to provide light refreshments after the ceremony, for the couple to spend a little time accepting congratulations from the witnesses. 

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  • Cara
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    People can "walk in and out", but it would be considerate to stay quietly during the readings. People attending are the normal congretation plus those specially invited.

    The lunch or other event afterwards is, of course, a private party.

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  • 1 month ago

    If there are wedding crashers, there are probably bar mitzvah crashes. 

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    it might be closed but it might depend on the event

    • Cara
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      The event is a barmitzvah, which takes place during a regular Saturday service.

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  • oikoσ
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    It's open to anyone who attends shul that day. Only the big whoop-de-doo afterward is a closed event.

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