Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 8 months ago

I have been attracted to a friend but have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 4 years.?

I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years but I have been feeling that I'm more compatible and attracted with a friend that I have known for years. Nothing has happen between my friend and I and i don't know how she feels about me. When I hang out with her it feels right, comfortable and feel like i can really open up to her, different from my girlfriend. I don't want to give up on my relationship for something that might not even work but its not fair to my girlfriend that I'm not 100% for her. Things with my girlfriend are good but we are different in a lot of ways, we find things to do with each other but it feels like things have been getting stale recently. Not sure what i should do open to ideas...........

9 Answers

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    I think you should talk to your girlfriend about taking a break without telling her the reason, because you don't need to bring that up right now. You could use that break time to get closer to your friend and find out how she feels about you. Here are some signs that a girl is interested in you..

    Smiling at you

    She’s looking at you or shooting short glances your way 

    Darting her eyes away when you look at her

    Making prolonged eye contact with you or when you can tell she’s trying hard to avoid making eye contact with you 

    She’s preening herself

    Playing with her hair, running her fingers through her hair

    Licking or biting her lips

    Exposing her neck or touching her neck 

    Tilting her head towards you

    Her body is turned towards you, turning in her seat towards you or she'll turn her head to look at you when she's standing and you walk into the room.

    Laughing when you say something funny or not so funny 

    She caresses an object in her hands meaning the way she holds an object. If she’s caressing it gently or stroking it while looking at you directly it’s a sign of interest in you

    She’s using “open” body language meaning her arms and legs are open and not crossed 

    She’s visibly nervous or shy, awkward silences while hiding how she feels about you

    Conversations between you two seem effortless

    She’s telling you personal things about her life

    She’ll start to reveal her quirky side

    If you do something out of the ordinary, she blushes or seems flustered

    She asks you questions 

    She gets flustered when you say hello as she‘s talking to another guy

    When she does or says something, she looks at you to see what your reaction is

  • Kym
    Lv 5
    8 months ago

    Talk to your girlfriend of 4 years about why the relationship has become STALE. You two may come to an agreement about calling it quits. Then you are "free".

  • 8 months ago

    You’re right.  If you really loved your girlfriend, you wouldn’t be wanting to date someone else.  Even in times of stress, couples choose to stay together.  Others don’t choose to do so.  It’s time to break up with her.  

  • 8 months ago

    If you even have to ask "what should I do" it tells me you have the morals of an ally- kat! 

    Here's the truth- You are ONLY with your girlfriend because your too selfish and fearful! You know you would cheat on your girlfriend in a hear-beat if you knew this other girl was into you, so don't sit there and play the "I'm an angel" card, because you're a selfish POS for doing this to your girlfriend!

    If you have even a lick of moral fibre in you, you will end things with your gf, she deserves better.

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  • 8 months ago

    You need to talk to your g/f and tell her you feel like things are getting a little stale between you and see if she feels the same way. It sometimes feels the same way when a person is married and you don't just kick this person to the side because of it. 4 years is a pretty good amount of time to have wasted.

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    The only honourable way is to move on from your present girlfriend, not keep her as a back up.   You can have no guarantee any relationship will last....including your current one.

    But.....the more you put in to a relationship, the more you are likely to get from it

  • 8 months ago

    So you are getting bored with your present relationship and are too cowardly to do the decent thing and free your girlfriend from your half-hearted interest in her. She's handy for sex I suppose, but your thoughts are straying to a platonic friend with whom you have more in common (you think). If you don't want your g/f any more, be honest and tell her so. She's done nothing wrong so you feel a bit of a heel to just dump her. She could find someone who was more interested in her if you let her go couldn't she......or do you fear that too?

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    It's never wise to fear being alone. Jumping from one relationship right into another rarely works out either. You of course need to end your current relationship because it's obviously not working for you. But if you're really interested in personal growth and finding "the one" you should be willing to be on your own for a while in between.

  • Susie
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    You could do what friends of mine did. Have a discussion about a long term commitment but agree for one year (Or 6 mos) to see others while continuing to DATE each other. Yes date, not hang out or just sex.  You both need to agree to this in finding out whether you are supposed to be together long term. And above all be honest.  

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