Should I avoid getting on the phone?
I have an ex-boyfriend that I broke up with 10 years ago. We share an 18 year-old-son. Every once in a while, my ex will call me to talk about something regarding our son. His dad wanted to talk to me about my son getting a job. It always becomes questions about me and what I'm doing in my personal life, including jobs and what my plans are, etc. It usually ends up in him putting me down and I have told him if we are going to discuss our son, we only need to stick to the subject. It is getting to the point where I cannot talk on the phone anymore. Is it best to discuss our son or just ignore?
- OcimomLv 78 months agoFavorite Answer
Make it CLEAR that the conversations are to be only about your son. End the call if it involves anything else about your personal life.
- ChanelLv 68 months ago
Just talk about your son cos maybe he purposely does it to get a rise out of you.
If he starts to be personal about you then cut the call short. He should get the message.
People say it is best to communicate BUT that is not always the way. It sounds like he knows you get rattled by him and he plays on it.
- Ace ShortyLv 78 months ago
Tell your ex that your son is 18 now and there isn't anything he can do if your son doesn't want to do it then hang up the phone.
- 8 months ago
I say discuss your son and as soon as the conversation regarding your son is finished say "Ok I have to go, bye" and hang up before he can respond. He's your EX husband, if he's making you uncomfortable after what's important has been said and done, you're not really required to deal with him.
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- Alan HLv 78 months ago
One way forward would be to arrange meetings to discuss matters relating to your son at a neutral venue, if possible with an arbiter present.
- chris nLv 78 months ago
If you restrict the conversation to the subject in hand.....ie. your mutual son....then where's the problem? You don't have to answer questions about your personal life. It is YOU giving out this information that prolongs this sort of questioning. Just say 'I don't want to talk about my personal life. Did you want to speak to your son?' You are allowing your ex to control the conversation. Just because he asks you a question doesn't mean you HAVE to answer it. If your ex father-in-law wants to discuss job opportunities for his grandson with you - it's up to you whether you wish to talk to him. At 18 I think it's your son's decision whether or not he wants to talk employment with his grandfather.
- Anonymous8 months ago
If you tried telling him you're only interested in talking about your son, and he ignored this, now it's time to SHOW him what you mean. As soon as he asks about you, click "end" on your phone and the convo is over. He'll get the point pretty quickly.
- FoofaLv 78 months ago
You might tell him that owing to his tendency to veer off subject you'd prefer all non-emergency communication be via email. He could still criticize you of course...it's just easier to take when you can skip reading that part and stick only to what involves your adult child.
- BillLv 68 months ago
oh you poor thing
have you not learnt that when someone is on the phone that you really don't to listen to or gets abusive , there is a little red dot on the screen that kills the call
try using it as soon as you know who it is , or much easier , just don't answer the call