I'm a lesbian in a straight marriage. What should I do?

I'm 36, I have 4 children.  I was completely closeted until age 30. I'm now out to a lot of people including my husband who wants to stay with me anyways. He goes to pride with me. 

I'm lonely and depressed but he is a good person. I can't tell my parents because I rent a house from my dad and he would throw me out.  I can't live anywhere else for what I pay here and I don't want to lose my dad. :( 

I feel like the woman I'm supposed to be with is out there somewhere but then sometimes I feel like even if I leave I will still just end up alone living in the bible belt. 

I don't want to uproot my children's lives. I really thought I was bisexual and that I could be happy because I emotionally connect with men but there isn't anything physical. I have to be somewhere else mentally or I feel sick.  

I don't know what to do. 

5 Answers

  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    Secure your living situation first. Find an different house or apartment to rent. Then go live your life freely. Telling your parents can come after. 

    You can still have a relationship with your children and husband the same as an ex-spouse would.

    Good luck.

  • Lauren
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    You already picked a best answer but I saw how many negative posts were here so I wanted to add a positive or encouraging one.

    Agreed with Nerdy Keith. Prioritize financial stability and be free! Recognize that divorce isn't so terrible in the end. My parents are much better off without being married and as a result so are we as the kids. 

    I should say your husband doesn't sound quite as great as you suggest if he's asking to stay with you after you express your lack of desire to be with him. You should both be with people who want and love you fully. This isn't just a selfish thing on your end to want that. 

    On top of that I think it was rather closed-minded for someone to say that sex isn't important in one of the responses just bc you don't stay mad for one another after a period of time in a monogamous relationship. I think ppl deserve to have that madness for at least a little while. That they don't think it means much probably speaks to their privilege of having had it once. 

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  • 1 month ago

    I mean, isn't your family the most important thing? Maybe you don't find immense pleasure in your sex life, but that stuff gets old after a few years, but the emotional bonds only grow. Perhaps don't worry too much about sex and focus on your family. I mean you has several kids so you must have liked it somewhat.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Pray to Jesus for guidance and seek conversion therapy. It seems like your problems would be over if you became heterosexual

    • No thanks, I have no intrest in conversion therapy or Christian's for that matter. Jesus never even mentions homosexuality so go read your bible. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You ought to be ashamed of yourself. My son got thrown out right when he fessed up to us that he was a deranged homo. 

    God is watching - always!

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