Things that my Mom said still affects me to this day?

When I was younger my Mom would tell me I wasn’t pretty enough, my sister was best looking and how her and my father did such a good job with my sister. She would tell me my skin was too dark, so I still struggle with accepting my skin tone and have tried bleaching. I’m an adult now but still I haven’t ever felt beautiful. I get told all the time I’m beautiful but I don’t believe and can’t see it. I’m always needing validation from others and I hate being this way. 

People stop me all the time and say I’m beautiful. But it’s so hard, it’s even affecting relationships. I struggle with constant low self esteem. Has anyone ever went through this? Any advice?

11 Answers

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  • 8 months ago

    WE should never allow  our self to be degraded by the words of someone else.for he that is perfect let him cast the first stone,be proud of who you are regardless of the color of your skin after all beauty is not what is gazed upon but what is on the inside.

  • 8 months ago

    They say beauty is only skin deep and your mother might just have been trying to shift your focus from one aspect of yourself that she noticed you were infatuated with and it seems you still are, she dealt you a dose of verbal abuse meant to tone down what  you were confronting her with at the time, have you recalled the context of the conversation?... that woud be important to resolve your qualms i.e. to look at all sides of the issue and your doubt might eventually disappear.

    Joy, beauty and spiritual uplift also comes from the world around you.     

  • Native
    Lv 5
    8 months ago

    GO TO A THERAPIST.

  • 8 months ago

    Sounds like you don't love yourself.  Would you tell a friend they are ugly?  Sometimes we treat our friends better than ourselves. You need to learn to love yourself. 

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  • Chanel
    Lv 6
    8 months ago

    You look to your parents as the people who are supposed to nurture you and guide you but the reality is that they are only flesh and blood and will mess up.

    It sounds like they have made you feel very insecure and you are just as good as your sister.

  • 8 months ago

    There is a book called "Feeling Good."  If you do the exercises, it will really help you.  It really helped me a lot.

  • 8 months ago

    You shouldn't listen to her years later.

    I know she's your Mom but disregard.

    We all say things we shouldn't.

  • 8 months ago

    God judges beauty by what's in our hearts. That's what really makes someone beautiful to Him and really His opinion is the only one that really matters since He is the one who made us and will judge us after we die.

  • Murzy
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    A good therapist can help you.

  • Mark
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    And where, pray tell, do you live?  All-over skin bleaching creams are not sold in North America, the UK, Ireland, or Oceania as they are carcinogens.

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