Should I ask for an open relationship with my high school sweetheart?

I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 and a half years and I truly believe that he is my soul mate. However, I can't shake the feeling that we both need to explore more in order to be sure of our feelings. At the same time, however, I am worried that doing so would lead to us breaking up due to jealousy, uncomfort, ect. I just love him so much and I do want to spend the rest of my life with him but I just feel like since he is my first and only boyfriend it is hard to be sure. An open relationship is an option but I don't even know if I myself would be okay with that or if I would even be comfortable having sex or kissing other people and then going back to him the same night. Am I just having normal doubts or is this a serious problem? What should I do?


Btw. We are currently in a long-distance relationship as we are both in college but see each other ever 3-4 weeks. 

Update 2:


7 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    You're right to recognize that you'll both need to date other people before you can make an informed decision about each other. But doing this with the safety net of still being in a relationship isn't the same as having to experience real singlehood and all that entails. Of course any breakup always means there's a chance you won't get back together. But it's a risk you'll have to take at some point because just going with the flow and ending up married with kids before you reach your breaking point is always a disaster. So do it now when the stakes are manageable...or do it later when real lives hang in the balance.

  • 8 months ago

    You can try that, it sounds like a good idea.

  • 8 months ago

    Sex is sex is sex. Most guys suck at it anyway. I've been having sex for decades, and with a number of men. Out of all of them, there is only one i would ever have sex with again. The rest? Not worth my time.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    you want to run free and have a safe home base

    this as you describe will not work 

    move on to a few loose years and get over it and make sure you never get pregnant 

    then make a day you will stop and settle down 

    it will not be with him though 

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  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    You know what you need to do.  Break up.  You don't want to be with him but are afraid of ending up alone.  You need to either commit, which you seem to be unwilling to do, or let him go.  You can't have it both ways, and trying will only hurt him, something you don't seem to care about.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    I think you are having normal feelings of doubt and what you are thinking about an open relationship will kill what you have right now. It's an awful idea.

    I've been married 25yrs and my husband is the only boyfriend I ever had. I have never had the desire to be with anyone else and doubt I ever will. I can think of many other women who can say the same thing. One of my friends married her only boyfriend and they have been together since they were 14! That is very rare.

    You need to value what you have with your boyfriend. You are getting these wrong ideas from media which tells you everyone hooks up, has friends with benefits and sleeps around like it is a handshake. That is no true and never everyone does that.

    Source(s): married 25yrs and my husband is the only boyfriend I've ever had
  • 8 months ago

    I think it's time to break up and move on. You are young and have no experience with other men or life in general. If he truly was the one you wouldn't be having these feelings.

    Go out and live your life as an adult. Be independent and experience the world without being attached to someone. There is no need to be thinking of a life partner when, from what I am guessing, you are between 18 and 21 years old. There's plenty of time to settle down and find the right one. Now is not it.

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