My girlfriend never makes time for me? Never shows effort?
So I’m a 23 year old guy and I have been with my girlfriend for about 3 months now, it was good In the beginning, but it has started to go down hill lately. Anyways, my girlfriend who is 19 stays 2 hours away from me, she goes to college and works all of time. I always try to make time to see her, but she never wants me to come see her. It’s either “I have to work” or I have school or some other excuse..or she will just tell me no that I can’t come. I believe that In relationships, you are always supposed to make time for the other person, and I feel like my girlfriend never tries to make time for me. I asked her yesterday when am I gonna see her again, and she said “I don’t know” I really don’t know what to do, I really want our relationship to work. What should I do ?
- JanetLv 72 months ago
That "good beginning" never lasts. It is just a temporary stage. So maybe that stage has ended .. for her.
She MAY be genuinely busy. School takes a lot of time, and if she doesn't spend enough time studying it is like flushing money down the toilet .. she'll flunk out. For every hour in lecture/labs, a student needs to spend TWO hours studying. So a student who has no science course (with labs on top of lectures) ,has about 15 hours of class a week, and 30 hours of studying. More if she takes math or science.
And then if she is supporting herself through work .. either partially or totally, we are looking at another 20 hours a week at least . .up to 40 hours.
And I am not including time between classes. Not time for a good night's sleep, eating, walking to/from classes, bathing/hair/laundry, etc.
So depending on her circumstances, she is genuinely busy between 135 and 185 hours a week, And there are only 168 hours in a week.
Full-time students who also work RARELY have time for a relationship .. unless they don't mind flunking out of college.
Wanting the relationship to work is NOT what makes it work. It is only 11% of what makes it work. And for starters, we need to live close to each other and have the time TO spend time together. Without those things, the relationship can be expected to die our slowly.
Then again, her feelings may have just died out. Most of the time, they do, even if someone is not far away and if they have time to spend with you.
- 2 months ago
1. No one is always busy, its just priorities. You will always make time for things you want to do. 2. If you want to make this work you need to pull back a bit and next time you see her you need to make sure she has a blast. Because if you nag her for time she will just associate nagging with you and avoid time with you. Next time your with her make sure you do whatever she wants to do, just for the next 4 times. So that she will crave seeing you and will go out her way to make it happen.
- 2 months ago
leave her right.now before you get more hurt
- 2 months ago
It takes TWO hands to clap, EXIT while you can.
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- James BlackleyLv 72 months ago
I'm going to lay this out straight for you, and you can do what my advise how you choose to do so!
She is no longer interested in being in a relationship with you! You are 100% right when you say that if someone truly wants to spend time with you then they will, this applies in your case too. I don't think they are "excuses", because I do believe she does work and does go to school, but its also clear to me, she just does not want to be in a relationship with you. If she really did? She would find the time for you, even if it meant video calling you 2x a week, and coming to visit you on a weekend, she refuses to do either of those things.
I think you just need to accept facts here, this is over.