Am I where I’m meant to be in my relationship?
I’ve been in a relationship for almost two years, me and my boyfriend rushed moving in with each other at 3 months due to family issues. We moved 4 hours away from home to our second apartment and his new job a few months ago. I love him, but my feelings have had it’s up and downs, he supports me with my dreams and financially and is the man any woman would dream to have, but lately I just feel...empty. Like I want to move back home and be on my own and better my mental and physical health but I know with how much he works that will sacrifice our relationship eventually. We barely see each other while living together I couldn’t imagine what it would be like hours away. His family is talking about grandchildren and marriage and I feel like the last two years that’s all I wanted and now I don’t know what I want for myself anymore. I don’t want to lose the best thing that’s happened to me but I don’t want to lose myself either. Any advice?
- Alan HLv 71 month ago
You two need to talk........seriously
You cannot undo having rushed into things....
But you can start to plan where you go next.
- JanetLv 71 month ago
We don't really know what's going on for sure, and we cannot ask questions.
The BEST thing to do is to book an appointment with a therapist and ask their opinion.
All relationships died down after a while. The initial excitement is only a temporary change in brain chemistry that makes us "high" ... attached. When that high dies out, we go back to feeling like we did beforehand, and if we were not happy beforehand, we will not be happy with the relationship anymore.
We end up still having to face our issues with how to be happy in our ordinary life, once the relationship dies down to ordinary levels.
Long-distance relationships tend to die out, since we cannot communicate well when we are not communicating face-to-face. and because we don't have them there, one/both start looking for others. If you move back home without him, be prepared to lose the relationship.
Once we HAVE a strong relationship with ourselves, we cannot possibly "lose" ourselves.
So discuss all these things with a therapist. Bring in a list of 3-4 issues you want their opinion on, and that should be covered in the hour. But it would take longer than that for you to find your own inner wholeness, which is what makes a relationship with someone else become happy and lasting.
- LP7Lv 71 month ago
You are being taken care of but your own identity is being lost in him.He being the provider and you may feel obliged to please him before yourself.Your creativity and freedom to do as you please has probably also disappeared.Don't go back to your family if you had issues.They don't go away unless you are willing to understand yourself and where you fit in with relatives.Why don't you take up a daily routine hobby or study a subject you have always wanted to do.You need to have your own interests besides being a partner/girlfriend.
- 1 month ago
you don't know what you have until it's gone, a lesson i learned 4 months ago after ending a 3 year relationship but on the otherside of this it seems like his priority is work over you. He's not putting in the work for the relationship, i made this mistake myself as a 27 year old male. The issue here seems to be you barely see each other, fix that or get packing. the work isn't being put into this relationship. You are unhappy, change needs to happen. maybe he's unhappy too, try to communicate better with him, is he good or suffering like you? every relationship has problems, the willingness to work it out is what counts
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- 1 month ago
do what will make you happy and it seems like moving back is where your heart is at. dont stay because you feel bad.