Kenny asked in HealthMental Health · 1 month ago

I feel trapped and lost. Any advice?

I'm an eighteen year old male, almost nineteen year old whom really only has his own thoughts. I don't have anything to do, no vehicle, no job. Nothing. I live with family. I take two hours out of my day to go to the gym but it's not that I don't have more time but it's that i have no way to use that time. I know that if I get away from these people and this town everything can be drastically better- but how can I? I don't understand. It's stressful physically and mentally knowing that no matter how hard I try and succeed there's always someone or something there to take it away. I was hoping to join the military in an effort to find myself but I'm sabotaged at every corner. 

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  • Hope!
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Lots to talk about here: let's start with 'finding yourself' - think hard about who you want to be. For myself, as an example, I want to be a kind, generous person (and many other things too, but let's keep it simple).. this is who I want to be - and so, I BE this person by acting in ways that are in line with who I want to be.. so, I am kind and generous, therefore, even when I don't feel like it all the time, I act in kind and generous ways. Period.. there is no 'finding yourself' - we change all the time. If you were able to find yourself today, and then tomorrow had a terrible accident, changing your life drastically, then you would be a different person and have to find yourself all over again.. :-) That's not how it is - DECIDE who you will be and then BE that person. In this way, it doesn't matter if your circumstances change or not.. you are who you decide to be. 

    Why can't you get a job? (Just curious).. having some money would give you some freedom - save and move out etc.. 

    If a job is out of the question, then use your time WISELY - think of this time as a GIFT.. use it to better yourself in some way - for eg. learn a foreign language, learn to cook, learn woodworking, plumbing - some kind of life skill. Learn to play an instrument.. do not waste your time, it is your most valuable resource! You can always make money, but you cannot get back the time you waste on games, tv and social media.. then one day you look back and think to yourself, 'what I could have done with those 5 hours every day!!!" but they are gone.. if it's hard to be disciplined and stop wasting time in pointless ways, start small - decide to spend 1 hour on studying or reading etc.. then when that is possible, increase to 2 hours etc.. notice this also begins with making a decision.. 

    Read - there is a quote that goes something like this - who you will be in 5 years is determined by the books you have read and the people you have associated with".. You could read the bible (always a good idea), read self help books, books on everything - how to write a resume, how to have a successful job interview, how to manage money, how to write, draw etc.  you could read books on health and natural medicine, on mechanics, but also inspirational stuff - something by Brian Tracy for starters. How about taking some online courses.. 

    Lastly, stay positive - you do this by never focusing on a problem and ALWAYS focusing on the solution to the problem - thinking about a problem, solves nothing, changes nothing and fixes nothing - a complete and utter waste of your time, that just keeps you stuck in that problem.. the key to change is to focus on the solution or a goal - this moves you forward, renews your hope, gives you enthusiasm for life and the will to go on! When a negative thought comes to mind like "no matter how hard I try" etc.. stop right there and CHANGE YOUR FOCUS - to the solution.. do not indulge a negative thought.. stay positive, and you will find that no matter what problem comes your way, you are able to stay happy through it all.. problems become obstacles for you to overcome. Start looking at them as 'challenges' - in the end, we grow stronger the MORE problems we face.. :-) If you think of it this way, then problems are a blessing.. 

    Hope this helps.. stay positive! DECIDE who you will be, and decide what you will do, and then stick to that.. 

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