Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 1 month ago

How to cope when others blame every aspect of your mood and health on bipolar disorder?

When I Google this kind of thing for advice, a majority of the results are for family/friends of those with bipolar disorder, when the bipolar person uses their mental health condition as an excuse for toxic behavior. 

I just want some advice on how to cope with the frustration I feel when other people blame bipolar disorder on nearly every aspect of my negative moods.

For example, I have been dealing with horrible dermatitis & hair loss, and it has triggered a ton of anxiety for me. When addressing this issue with my doctor, she claimed that my anxiety was due to bipolar disorder and invalidated how I feel about losing my hair, which is important to me.

Another example has been when I am very stressed. I can have a difficult time falling asleep when I am extremely stressed, as many people do. I have had a few health professionals blame my inability to sleep during those times on BD, and try to convince me that I need a high dose of antipsychotics I've already tried that did not work well with me, even though at the time I was not hypomanic, yet alone manic, as opposed to looking into the issues causing my stress and suggesting coping mechanisms for those stressful situations. 

Any advice or articles any of you suggest?

Not everyone invalidates the situations in my life that are not related to bipolar disorder which have an effect on my mood, and I am very thankful for those people, but it can still be frustrating to cope with those who do blame everything on it

4 Answers

  • 1 month ago
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    I'm not putting down doctors and I know perfectly well that medical care is very important for bipolar disorder. All I'm saying is that professionals tend to see problems in terms of their own fields. GPs and psychiatrists tend to see things in medical terms rather than behavioral. Clinical psychologists are the other way around.

    When I say "holistic medicine," people tend to think in terms of herbal remedies, but the term means considering every aspect of a patient's problem.  I wish there was more of this. There was a disturbing poll showing that many therapists fail to counsel about the healthy lifestyle choices shown to help with mood disorders.

    I can give you some advice from experts about stress management, something we all need and something very important for keeping stable if you're bipolar.

    I'll also give you an answer that includes a variety of things you can talk about with your doctor, such as the work of Professor Felice Jacka, president of the International Society of Nutrition Psychiatry.  Look here, under DEPRESSION TREATMENTS.

    The best stress management is personal. Deal with the things that are stressing you.

    A really simple but effective thing - the habit of responding to moments of stress by slowing your breath.

    Psychiatrists Brown and Gerbarg, who have published 6 papers on breathing and mental health, recommend a 3-part program of mind-body methods - breathing, meditation, and slow body movement. Incorporate these into your daily life. Be aware of changes in mood and respond mindfully, aware of your breathing. Details here -

    Other things take some effort but they're very rewarding - things that make your life meaningful, like a good hobby, art, or volunteer work. Taking care of your health with the right exercise, etc. If you go to Metapsychology, you can read a psychologist's review of Dr Steve Ilardi's book ("a splendid book"). He's the therapist who headed a university lifestyle-depression project and developed a program for stress reduction.

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  • 1 month ago

    As you know, Bipolar Disorder is a genetic and CHRONIC mental illness that can only be regulated with taking your daily medications and those medications have to build up in your body to have a therapeutic effect.  And so you can never go off of them, skip them or reduce the dose without your doctor's advice.

    And so I have to ask, are you well regulated on your medication?  And if not, why not?

    But let me say that the loss of your hair should not just be written off as a symptom of anxiety related to your Bipolar Disorder.  Why didn't your doctor suggest something like Rogaine treatment for you?

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  • 1 month ago

    Dermatitis and hair loss is often related to our immune system and about a poor diet. Are you taking biotin or did the doctor recommend any supplements for your hair problem? These have worked for a couple people i know, but it takes a matter of months to see any results. There are also shampoos. I can't say that these work miracles, but they are supposed to help with hair loss. You didn't say specifically if the hair loss is caused by the dermatitis.

    You might want to read about Brain Gut Health. Our mental health has been found to be directly associated with our gut health. It's all about changing our diet to a clean diet. Of course, it's just a suggestion for you to look into these things i've mentioned.

    And you're taking things way personally.... i understand how "people" behave but just because someone says something in particular, it doesn't have to wreck your day. What people say is about THEM NOT ABOUT YOU. Remember that. I live around someone who is pretty vile, and i don't let her miserable inner world wreck my days. No way. I realize what she says and does isn't about me, it's about her. This is the way of human nature, i guess? Some people are thoughtless.

    I wish you all the best. I don't know that i've been helpful in the least, but wanted you to know i'm thinking of you.

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  • 1 month ago

    I have a relative with BP and I understand where you are coming from, but you also need to consider the fact that they know when you are going into that state of mania and are more than likely going to notice signs that you don't notice when you are in that state. So of course theyre going to be over cautious on some of your symptoms even if they really have nothing to do with your bipolar disorder. On the other hand, try getting an outside opinion or doing my research yourself on the disorder so you can have evidence you're just going through something

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