I feel misunderstood and I do not want to explode in anger at my loved ones.?
Hi first off if you're reading this thank a lot for your attention, I appreciate it, well let's get down to what I'm wirtting this for.
Hi mi name is Erick I'm 22 years old and I feel so misunderstood the thing is even I don't get myself, let me start by saying that people use to avoid me, ignore me when it comes to talking about things that happen to me or when it is about things I like I just don't fit in even my mother never paid attention to what I liked and my father used to tell me what I like is stupid I can't complain though they always gave me everything I wanted (but attention) as kid I wasn't allowed to have friends because I lived in a dangerous neighborhood and the "kids were bad to me" I grew up as a teenager who thought having friends is stupid I think it is because as little boy I didn't have them so when people tried to be friendly to me I felt like they were just getting in my way then I got to know these people who are my only friends so far 4 guys who are my best friends they showed that I didn't have to think like that and having could be fun and important in life they're the kind of people who are smart, one of them a smartass, but he is funny I like him, then I got to know other two friends really good friends who taught me that sometimes talk about stupidity is ok, the thing is as the showed me that having friends is good thing I wanted to be friends with people in my University and where I work at the thing is I don't seem to fit in with anybody.
Because as I mentioned before people use to avoid me when I talk about what happens to or what I like I'm I aware that most of the things I said are considered boring in this society but even the ones I know are fun they don't even show interest in them and most times I'm feel myself forced to talk only stupidity it's the same my friends taught it is ok said stupid things but there's a limit but I have to say them pretty much always, at work and at the University, because my friends are there.
They don't either work or are in same University as me,I'm alone where I work and study, so I can't see them as I used to in highschool and in my University I don't fit in with anybody when I want know about something real, like what you used to do as kid, how is your family, why do you like "x something", "you know when I was 15 I went through the same thing or something similar" "That's why I dream with" "And I want to be a good"... "What about you?" When you say things like those.
People ignores you and some of them are rude and I'm ok with being treated like that sometimes because I respect everyone is got their personality but when you see 10 out of 10 persons with the same personality I get bored of it, I didn't say this before but I'm not myself I can't I always try to be nice to everyone even when they are not to me, but when they're like that over and over again I get bored of it, my true self so to speak comes out and I'm everything I hate, I'm a asshole
I Don't like what I don't and I let people know about it, same thing when it comes to mistakes, I don't like to make long conversations when they're talking about something I'm not interested in or I don't like and I'm too direct if I'm they're stupid or something do is, I say it, but I have said things like that to my mother, my father and my friends when I explode and I don't want to be like that because I have made cry my mother and my father and friends see as if I were a monster, it hurts
Lately I've been holding myself back very hard everyone at University and work, these people I talk to tells that I'm their friend yes that's right I'm the best person I can to them, but they're pretty rude to me and ignore me many times and also they never talk to me unless they want to know something about work, favors and homework...
I'm getting tired of it but I also don't want to be alone, people have shown me that have friends is nice but I don't find this kind of people lately...
And also don't want to be the asshole I am to them because even though they are like that to me I don't feel like they deserve to be treated like that but I feel bad and I have cried in the bathrooms sometimes and I just want to explode I just don't want to hurt someone and be seeing as a monster once again.
Thanks to everyone who got till this point I may be a long reading this will look wicked to some or maybe most of you but thank you for paying attention if you got here, have a beautiful day
One update more, yeah it doesn't look like a question?
I just want to know what you people would do because right now I'm only see two options keep like this or completely start to being the asshole I am.
I'm not saying this are the only ways but these are the ones I see right now.
- EdnaLv 72 months ago
Is there a question somewhere in your rant??
- JamesLv 42 months ago
You are only 22 so first of all relax . An observation . You need to somehow start thinking about others more . That is the key to solving your problems because notice how many times you mention the word " I and Me " . To think about others more often and sort of forget about yourself and constantly thinking about your feelings is easier said than done but I think that is the challenge you face . You are not alone , I think everybody has that same challenge more or less , especially young people . In conclusion , try not to be sensitive , keep a sense of humor alive , be kind to everybody you meet because everybody is fighting a battle , don't forget to pray for yourself and others , give to charities even if it is only a little , be good to your parents and try to think of more outward feeling ideas and things to do . Good luck and remember 22 is really young , so just relax and be a good person and you will make out fine
- FireplaceLv 62 months ago
What the heck is your question???
- Alan HLv 72 months ago
Feelings come unasked; actions are a choice
You are not a puppet.
Determine to behave responsibly
- How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- Mike GLv 72 months ago
- KelleyLv 42 months ago
Correct teaching about friends:
Proverbs 18:24 ... there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Some people in this world are righteous.)
Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harms. (Search for the wise people and be their friends.)
Ecclesiastes 4:12 And if one prevail against him
(a man with no friends, in general fails/loses in life), two shall withstand him
(a man with one friend, in general survives in life);
and a threefold cord is not quickly broken
(a man with two friends, in general succeeds in life).
- T-halfLv 62 months ago
Many people feel like you do. Like they don't fit in with students at their new school or at work.
I certainly did.
Make a list of your likes and dislikes. Is there a chat group at your school? You can through out a question of one of your likes, and see who responds. Or even, "I hate horror films, do you." and see who else hates something you do.
I joined clubs and groups in college. I started making friends at the burger lunch area.
I went out to bars or movies with my coworkers. But they were not really friends. I call them work-friends.
One of my favorite college friends I had in my wedding. But she drifted away after college. If I knew how to contact her, I would. She had an interesting personality.
I never have had many friends, and am still a loner. (but not lonely)
I'm really glad you found 4 guy friends. I hope you continue their friendship.
- Pearl LLv 72 months ago
maybe you should get some counseling if you feel that way
- JimLv 72 months ago
A beautiful post. Now what is your question here.
- Anonymous2 months ago
Do you have a question?