Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 2 months ago

Is there a technical name for this pattern of behaviour of when you invite someone to an event, then a colleague invites the same person?

But your colleague claims they were first in inviting your contacts when you didn't even know your colleague knew any of your contacts and it is obviously clear they were not the first to invite them.This has happened to me a few times where I'm tasked at organizing an event and so email contacts to invite them to the said event. They accept happily but then when I contact them with more information later they say 'So and so already invited me' like we never even talked about it previously. Then I say, 'Oh, I thought I did'. Then they just repeat 'So and so already invited me'. Then they shut me down. So I'm just sitting there thinking 'Okay?' wondering a) what just happened and b) what to do next because I'm supposed planning the event. Then, usually, those people push me out of the planning or ignore me at the event in question altogether. Maybe it's simply called 'Stealing Another's Contacts'. lol.

Update:

@Anonymous Generally, when there's an event you try to keep people updated with more information when the event nears. 

Update 2:

@g So if that were true, why would a colleague take credit for inviting my contact when I already invited the contact? You'd think my contact would just tell the colleague that I already invited them. It seems super strange and rude. Maybe neither care because I'm on my way out of the clique anyway and so they won't have to address the breach in etiquette. 

7 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    What I find strange is the fact that these people don't REMEMBER that you had already invited them. That's what seems odd.

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  • 2 months ago

    This situation could occur due to a lack of communication between the relevant parties/departments in regards to who is responsible for extending the event invitations and whether that information is being handed down accordingly. Alternatively, this could occur because an individual is wanting to be perceived in a certain way by Management, regardless of how their behavior/attitude may be interpreted by others. Best you can do is get clarification as to who is responsible for event invitations and ensure you know specifically your role, if any, in the process. If people choose not to interact with you, put your focus onto other other colleagues and mix collegially.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    The answer is obvious.  I'm an event planner.  The world is against you.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    i wouldnt invite them again if they do that

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  • 2 months ago

    It is called "exclusion".  It isn't about stealing your contacts, but about not seeking attendance with your or credited to you in lieu of a better friend (contact).  Sort of like accepting an invitation until a better offer comes their way.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    "When I contact them with information."  Why aren't you giving your contacts all the information when you invite him or her?

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  • g
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Or maybe there's a bigger overlap between you and your colleague than you realized.

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