Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesOther - Arts & Humanities · 6 months ago

Everytime I discuss something personal with my fiancé about my family his mom knows about it. Isn’t this betrayal because someone else know?

7 Answers

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  • 5 months ago

    If he has been asked not to share personal information that you want to keep private, then yes, that is betrayal for him to repeat it.

    Tell him to stop sharing your personal information with anyone. If you do not  communicate what you expect, then it really is not his fault. So...speak up. If you already told him and he still does it, well, you have a problem that needs to be resolved beefore you marry him.

    Trust is important and if you marry a guy you do not or can not trust, your marriage will be doomed from the start.

  • M P A
    Lv 6
    5 months ago

    Stop telling him anything that is person but, when he tells you something tell all your family the details. This will, almost certainly, get back to him and when he complains you can then explain why you felt the need to do that.  

  • Cogito
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Unless you tell him, very assertively, that what you tell him is totally private and NOT to be shared with anyone, even his mother, how is he to know?

    If you have told him this, and he still tells her, it's time to ditch him.

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    Have you ever at a moment when you're not angry about his over-sharing talked to him about what you consider to be private between a couple?  Do you tell him to not share something with his mom (everything would be unreasonable though)?

    If you've never had a discussion around sharing you're suffering from an attack of "assuming."  Families do things different.  If you're not aware of that (the general "you") any difference can feel like an attack or a deliberate hostile act while the other person hasn't got a clue why the other is pissed.  

    If you've prefaced things you want to be kept private with that information (some people just don't get general instructions) and it's still shared then they are disrespecting you.  Funnily enough, a complete disregard to privacy in intimate matters is one of (many) reasons I divorced.  That said, I wouldn't jump the gun and assume that your fiancé is aware of what you consider inappropriate to share with his mom if you've not talked about it in a calm, non-accusatory way.

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  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    Stop telling them so much because someone is blabbing just like you are.  Sounds like quite the gossip central there.

  • mokrie
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    There will never be any such thing as a secret once to tell anyone. 99.9% of humans cannot keep a secret. They MUST tell someone and tell them don't tell anyone which of course they will. If you want to keep a secret then don't tell anyone. Ever hear of the old saying 3 people can keep a secret only if 2 of them are dead" ?

  • 6 months ago

    You're probably discussing personal stuff with your fiancé when his "mom" is sitting a few feet away from you, because you forgot to check whether she was nearby. To avoid future problems of this kind simply ensure the old woman is not present in the room while you're discussing personal issues with your (extremely unlucky) fiancé so she can't hear you. Hope this helped.

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