Parents abroad ?

My parents live abroad in Australia in 16 years I have seen them 2 times. Once in Australia and once in the UK at my brother's wedding. 

We live in Holland and my parents in law think that my parents should make the effort to come and see where I live and what I have achieved. 

What do you think? 

Update:

In 14 years I have seen them 2 times

11 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Perhaps your parents are done with traveling, especially those long grueling flights. 

    Why haven't you been visiting them more often?

    It's not all about you and your in laws.

    You can always use WhatsApp, Facebook, Skype to communicate.

    I live FAR from from home, about 14,000km  but I communicate everyday with them.

    If there's a will there's a way. It takes 2 to tango.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 month ago

    If your parents have only seen you twice in 14 years that means their not interested in where you live or how your life has turned out. I have two kids I couldn't imagine going more that 2 weeks without seeing them. Time to move on.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 month ago

    While I don’t think your in laws should be passing comment like that I think it would be nice if you invited your parents to visit for a holiday.  Perhaps that is what has been missing. It is an awful long distance away, and such extensive air travel is not very attractive in itself. I live in Australia, have family in the U.K. but I really hate long air flights, so I appreciate it when family make the effort to visit.  Fortunately they are used to air travel and understand my dislike of flying (I tend to get claustrophobic).  Your parents may be getting elderly, find it difficult to find the funds, or have health reasons that put them off the idea of visiting.  At the end of the day I say it is up to you to make them feel welcome, and perhaps make the offer to meet the cost.  Be understanding if they don’t want to make the effort.  It will be some time before anyone living in Australia will want to visit Europe with the COVID19 pandemic, but could be a starting point for you to broach the subject.  Hopefully you video chat regularly so they feel familiar with your new family, and not distant relatives.  If all else fails just be understanding and why not just make the effort and make plans to visit them yourself.  

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 month ago

    I think it's none of your parent-in-law's business.

    It also doesn't take into account their ability to do so (finances, time off work / away from responsibilities etc). Australia isn't exactly nearby.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 month ago

    What do YOU think? How do you feel about your parents' interest in you, or lack thereof? Why don't they visit you? Why didn't they keep you with them to begin with? What interest do they show in you? How & how often do they communicate with you, see how you are?

    IF you feel seriously resentful of being totally neglected (& IF that is really the case), you can cut them out of your life completely if you wish. Or you can reach out to them & let them know what you think & feel. Or tell them you want them to visit & spend time with you on a regular basis. Or you want them to keep you with them. Or.... What do you want?

    • Trish1 month agoReport

      Thanks 

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 month ago

    I think you just need to find an additional context which permits you to invite them to visit you. Family events like births, deaths and marriages provide the obvious ones, parents flying while they still can for health reasons presents another.

    We do not know their financial situation or work/life commitments, and probably neither do your parents in law either. For some families with relatives in Australia it is normal to visit once a year and even to reciprocate, for others the interval will be much longer.

    • ...Show all comments
    • Trish1 month agoReport

      We got married after we prosponed our wedding for the 3rd time but they didn't come because it wasn't convenient for them..  So I don't know maybe just something keeps getting in the way x Thanx for your answer 

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 month ago

    I think it's between you and your parents, and your in-laws should mind their own business. I have no idea why your parents haven't come to see you, or why you haven't gone to see them. There may be perfectly good reasons.

    • Trish1 month agoReport

      Thank you for your answer

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 month ago

    About what?  Should doesn't play a role here.  Your in-laws (and you) clearly believe that "good" parents are obligated to travel to see their children even if the child lives on the other side of the planet.  That is your right to believe that.  It also seems clear that your parents' either don't hold that same opinion and or are not good parents.

    Your post doesn't include information that might be helpful.  WHY do you live in Holland and your parents in Australia?  What is your parents financial situation?  Can they afford to leave home for a several weeks and travel to Holland?  Have you invited them and offered to pay their way?  Do they have any health issues that would make such travel difficult or unwise?

    Today, with cell phones and video calls, text, and email, it is very easy to keep in touch with people who are not geographically close.  That would seem more important than a physical visit. 

    • Trish1 month agoReport

      They moved there. Thanx for your answer. 

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Danny
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Why should you expect them to come to see you if you have rarely gone to see them? Do you video call each other often to catch up so they can see what you're doing?

    • Trish1 month agoReport

      Yes talk on aap 

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 month ago

    with apologies, your in laws may think what they wish, but it would be better if they refrained from criticizing others, especially to you [an immediate relative]. Now, how can you gently suggest to them that you find the criticism painful?

    Source(s): grampa
    • Trish1 month agoReport

      Good advice thanx 

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.