Can trees have coronavirus? I got lonely and humped my tree in the front yard. Do you think I have it now?

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Let's see.  So far you've humped a goldfish and squirrels, you are both male and female, you have humped 20+ women and on and on and on.

    Does Mommy know you're out of the basement again?

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  • 1 month ago

    No your going to get crotch rot not corona See trees get root rot and what's little known is when you f@#k trees . You can surely catch a form of root rot So your genitals are going to turn black and fall off or shrivel up and close up from that crotch rot that magically morphed from plant to humans THERE IS NO CURE your genitals will fit and fall off or worse  and the smell it's going to get bad for you soon The should have asked you to use a condom . But you didnt now you got the crotch rot and it's got no cure Unless your not stupid Then you won't get it Cause only stupid people F@#K TREES enjoy yourself, and have a good day  

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  • James
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    No, but you might start pining at nights.

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  • 1 month ago

    Kranjis, I have contacted the National Forest Foundation and Sierra Club; they will be on your doorstep tomorrow morning to administer testing you for coronavirus and place you under a 14 day mandatory quarantine. You will also be tested for Oak Wilt, Apple Scab, and Dutch Elm Disease. Should your test results be positive for the coronavirus, depending on the age and species of tree you violated you could be facing federal as well as state and local criminal charges including Arboreal assault, Debarkation of a minor, Date palm rape, Indecent Exfoliation of a minor tree, Blue Spruce goosing and Cedar sodomy, all of which carry stiff sentences and fines, with some still using laws dating back to the early 1700's involving repeated violation with a broomstick while chained to stocks in a public place, and mandatory placement on the Coniferous Offenders Registry, alerting all neighbors in a 1-mile radius to keep a close eye on their shrubbery. Ooooh, I'd hate to be in your wooden shoes!

    • Jeff1 month agoReport

      Nah fam you all good just drink some orange juice and you should feel all better homie. Also, always wear protection.

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  • 1 month ago

    can monkeys drink milk?

    • chef1 month agoReport

      yes

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  • 1 month ago

    mods get this sex demon outa here

  • 1 month ago

    Short answer, no it can't.

    But of all the people that have contracted Covid-19 and died, you deserved to be one of them.

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  • 1 month ago

    In theory, you can get infected from touching recently contaminated surfaces, but the mechanism is usually "airborne", not contact.  It's not like the other STDs that you're used to by now.

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  • kswck2
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Yes, you are both infected. Nice knowing ya. 

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  • 1 month ago

    i dont think so, but if you get that lonely maybe you should get some help for that

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