Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Education & ReferenceWords & Wordplay · 1 month ago

resume phrase?

is this sentence OK? or please rephrase it to be more professional in CV, "Enthusiastic to contribute to team success through excellence performance."

6 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    eager

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  • blank
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Blah.... I would not only NOT rephrase it - I would dump it all together.

    That sounds like you are in high school - trying to apply for a slot at the national 4H annual convention.

    For a business resume - focus on your experience and significant achievements.  Let them do the talking for you on paper.  THEN - when you land an interview - DEMONSTRATE your enthusiasm view your attitude and bearing.  Show your excellence via your dress and comportment.

    So dump canned phrases like:  Motivated team player.  Or Dedicated professional.

    Use things like:  March 2018-Dec 2018 - lead team of seven responsbile for sales turn around.  Stopped trending dowward losses at fifteen percent and closed year's sales up twenty seven percent (Eight percent over budgeted goals).

    Which would YOU rather hire: someone that is simply looking to be an enthusiastic team player or the person that actually accomplishes things?   

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    • blank
      Lv 6
      1 month agoReport

      Nothing derrogatory was intended, certainly no slight against 4H. It is an excellent program.  The point intended was the phrase proffered was simply "high schoolish."  In hindsight - I simply could (and probably should) have said just that (nothing more).

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  • RP
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Yes, it is okay, but you might also consider: Enthusiastic contributor to team success by top personal performance.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    "Plays well with others"

    Seriously though, "phrases" made of random words sound made-up and trite.

    Source(s): HR recruiter
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  • 1 month ago

    excellence of performance.  

    I am enthusiastic about working in a team and contributing to its success through exemplary performance.

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  • 1 month ago

    It is awkward.  Try a professional resume service.

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