Not motivated / too scared to find someone even though I really want to.?

I'm a 17-year-old of average looks and I've never been in a relationship. There are plenty of single, good looking people in my friendship group that I would love to build a relationship with, however, I have no motivation to talk to them in that way and whenever someone tries to make a move on me I have no interest and just push them away, even if that's what I want them to do. 

A lot of my friends are out on dates a lot and getting experience in that area and I feel that I'm falling behind, especially as I will be going to university next year.

What I'm trying to ask is do I HAVE to try and find someone, or will I be okay just staying single until later life and I can find someone who is okay with how bad I am at that stuff.

P.S. My lack of effort comes from the fact I am embarrassed/scared to act that way to someone but also the fact I don't have the motivation to maintain a constant stream of communication and support to someone (I prefer living in my own head instead of someone else's) meaning it seems impossible to maintain a relationship with someone in my eyes.

3 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    Just try your best not to feel scared

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  • 1 month ago

    There is no timetable on how long its okay to stay single.  Of course you don't HAVE to do anything.

    The problem seems to be that you want to....yet you don't because you are scared.   You feel you are "bad at that stuff".  Welcome to the human race lol.

    Make sure you are okay with yourself just the way you are, beyond okay....you need to love yourself unconditionally.  

    Once you are at a really good place with yourself, then be yourself, ROCK being yourself, know that you are enough as you are, that you don't need anyone to make you happy, and things will happen naturally.

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  • 1 month ago

    Are you actually complaining about the problems you are responsible for creating in your life? If you continue to think this way you won't change in the future. In fact the longer you keep it up the more difficult it will be to make any kind of meaningful changes in your life and you'll end up old and alone. If that is what you want that's your business but if not then it is far past time that you change your mindset and start behaving in a way that makes some effort to achieve your goals. If you don't control you thoughts and behavior towards others no one else is going to do it for you.

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