I'm scared of breaking up with my boyfriend during quarantine?
I feel like my bf is not making me a priority. He is going through a change in his life and I feel he is not there, and I try to be there for him, but I live most of my days for now feeling like I'm single. I told him how I feel and he said that he wants me in his life and that I'm a priority and stuff, but I still don't feel it by his actions.
I'm scared to break up because:
1. I'm scared I'm overreacting and the guilt that will come after will override me.
2. I'm in self-quarantine and I already am dealing with anxiety, and I'm scared adding a breakup to that will break me.
What should I do? How do I know if I'm not overreacting and that I should really break up with him?
We're in our late twenties, we don't live together, and we've been together for 6 months.
- Coach SimonLv 75 months agoFavorite Answer
Oh Dear! Do try not to be so scared of everything! Try not to make a mountain out of a molehill - to create a storm in a teacup! :o)
Try not to take things QUITE so very seriously - including yourself!
Your boyfriend says that he wants you in his life and that you are important to him, so try to accept and respect that. Teenagers expect constant attention (by text, phone, etc.) because they are inexperienced and live for the moment. You are a bit more mature, and need to take things a little more in your stride. Are you expecting too much of your boyfriend - putting pressure on him to call you every day, for example? Take a step back; I do understand how hard it can be not seeing him during lock-down, but give him a little space for a day or two. Take stock of what it is you would like from the relationship. Read up about relationships.
We fall madly in love, don’t we, thinking (feeling rather) that it will last forever and is enough for a serious relationship. However, it’s very hard to live on an emotional high for very long. Eventually we start to come down from the ecstasy, excitement, strong passions and desires, typically after around 18 months to three years (people vary of course). If couples are friends, discuss their mutual values, shared ambitions, interests, etc., in some depth (obviously there will be some differences, which help make relationships interesting), and make plans, work on their personal development, etc., this can develop into a long and wonderful relationship. If one party feels insecure or low in self respect, it can make for a difficult partnership. It's easy to behave at our best when in love, but marriage, for example, requires a lot of self discipline, sacrifice, compromise and flexibility. If a strong friendship is not in place, the relationship will probably peter out eventually - or worse. Quite often we fall in love because we are lonely and allow ourselves to be won over by anyone who takes an interest in us. Thus we give away control to somebody else if we are not careful. This is another reason for taking things very slowly, and really getting to know someone before committing ourselves or getting too emotionally or sexually involved. Sex can be emotionally bonding, which is disastrous if the other things are not there: strong friendship, similar values and standards, common interests, etc.
Good Luck!Source(s): firstname.lastname@example.org
- 4 months ago
Some people can actually change. For some they dont realize the hurt and destruction they've caused. Once they are exposed they will learn from it and not repeat. Some just enjoy the thrill and will always seek it.
What does your intuition tell u?
- JamesLv 75 months ago
I don't blame you for being scared. I was happy being a single bachelor a few years ago, being able to fraternize all the women I wanted. But if I was single now in this age of global pandemic, I would feel very lonely indeed. I am really glad I got into a long term relationship with my girlfriend before all this happened.
So hold out until this crisis blows over. In the mean time, you should tell him how you're feeling and see if he is willing to be there for you. But of course, given that he is going through a change in his life, you also have to let him know that you are there for him. Be there for each other and be willing to help each other out. Give him time.The end of the pandemic is your deadline for fixing your relationship with him. If at that point you haven't seen results, then you can consider moving on.