Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 4 months ago

How can I help my daughter?

My daughter is a 20 year old who is very sad and depressed. She never leaves our house, has no friends and she is very insecure and sad all the time. It hurts seeing her like this. According to her, for her making friends is really hard and people would never talk to her (she was the one who was left out). She was picked on during her primary and high school which ruined her confidence and life. She says that people would pick on her for no reason. All these experiences have made my girl feel sad and hate herself. I am very worried, I dont want my child to be like this, she refuses to get therapy, she is in her room doing nothing all day, doesn’t go out, has no physical activity, has anxiety, is afraid of leaving our house, is not in a good relationship with our relatives.. I am afraid of her getting sick. Me and my husband (her father) don’t know what to do. I sometimes catch her crying or about to cry and it breaks my heart. She is feeling very sad and lost. I am really worried about my girl. Last year I begged her to take her to see this psychologist, but she didn’t want to. She says that those mean people in school are responsible for her current mental state and according to her she was a loner and felt lonely,felt like everyone was against her and she didn’t stand up for herself. I am afraid of her being suicidal since I don’t want to lose her. I cant stand losing her, she is my only child and I cant live without her.Any helpful advices would be appreciated.


@John, she is too anxious to go anywhere, she wont even leave our house. I think that she is afraid of going out. Also I think that since we live in a small city, she doesnt wanna go out at all since she might meet certain people she doesnt wanna meet plus she is really anxious. We don't know what to do. She refuses therapy and refuses to go to the gym due to her anxiety.

Update 2:

Also, she says that she sees those experiences when her eyes are closed and also in other times when she is doing something. And also sometimes she say it’s like she relieves them when in certain situations.

8 Answers

  • 4 months ago

    hello I can understand ur daughter am in my 50s and male it's so sad to hear that' she won't come out of her room or the house when I was at school I was bullied for no reason they just pinpointed me cos I was shy and quiet it went on for a long time I never told my parents kept it 2 myself it knocked my confidence self-esteem you feel worthless it's your fault all I can say is don't pressure her to let her come out in her own time just be there for her if she needs to talk let her in her own time just listen even now I still have flashback to my school days it nearly destroys me it was not just bulling wi me but that don't matter she only 20 so her life just begun I had counselling its good cos u seem 2 talk 2 a stranger am still having it now I know how hard it is for you but just hang in there she will come out the other side it may take a long time but she got you and her family am happy now with my life am gay and proud i hope iv help you alittle if u want 2 ask me anythink or you need to talk am always here she will get throught this good luck and i wish you well X 

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    Insecurity at childhood comes from parents, school is a symptom, not the cause. She needs medication and counceling.

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    You need to use a little "tough love."  Tell her she needs to see a therapist as a condition of her living in your house.  Then follow through with it is she still won't seek treatment.

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    I can understand your daughter because I'm like her. What helped me was that I started talking to a psychiatrist, I started working out, and I spend a lot of my time helping and serving others. Now is a bad time to go to soup kitchens and such because of the corona virus. So I'd take that idea with a grain of salt.

    Btw i suffer from severe depression. Watch her. 

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  • LAN
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    Don't you think that you have done enough damage to her to cause her to be like that in the first place?   Let a professional take over and stop screwing her up yourself.

  • 4 months ago

    I think that fellow has a good idea - get a dog. 

    There's a lot of things that can help with depression. I'm not saying that self-help is a good substitute for seeing a therapist, but it's better than nothing. Maybe when she's feeling better she'll change her mind about getting help.

    This answer has details, under DEPRESSION TREATMENTS -

    Of all the basic lifestyle choices, the one with the best evidence is exercise, and you don't have to be an athlete to benefit from it. Research shows that when people suffering from depression go for long walks with friends, this is very therapeutic (source - the lifestyle-depression project at the University of Kansas). Things that take your mind off your problems for a while, like a funny movie, are helpful, as long as you don't let them dominate you.

    Of all the traditional Asian methods (meditation, tai chi, etc.) the one with the best evidence for helping people with mood problems is controlled breathing. I have information about therapeutic breathing recommended by psychiatrists Brown and Gerbarg and PTSD therapist Emma Seppala in my answers. This is safe and requires no training.

    Slow breathing is very important for people who have suicidal thoughts. It calms you down so you can think carefully. Also, simple distractions like beautiful music or a funny movie can help. I have more about what to do if someone has suicidal feelings in my answers..

  • 4 months ago

    Don't judge and don't offer advice. Just listen and validate how she feels.

    Of course, this won't make it all go away but it's a helpful start.

  • 4 months ago

    Have her pick out a friendly dog at the pound and go walking with it every day. Exercise will help her body and mind, and friendly dogs attract good people (and let her know who the not-so-good guys are).

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