Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 4 months ago

Why do people say (or text you) “please let me know if there’s anything I can do” when it’s all polite words they likely do not mean?

How do you know if they mean it?

Asking “do you mean it”is not appropriate!




Am talking generally if somethinf has happened..

Update 2:

Why say it if you dont mean it???? Stupid

12 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    Answer with what you need. I offered this to a friend a while ago who's going through chemo. She was honest and answered back that she could use some groceries so I went and bought those for her. Sometimes people genuinely need help but are too worried about offending to ask for it. 

  • 4 months ago

    Some people were brought up to offer support and kind words even if they don't really feel like doing it.  There is no way to know if someone means what they offer unless you take them up on that offer.

    If someone texts you an offer of help, take them up on that offer.  See if they come through or if they renege. 

  • drip
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    If a person you know has had an emergency or tragedy you want to help , but have no idea what to do.   So many people do end up saying a General Is there is anything I can do.  

    If and when you do need help you ask them for help. That is when you find out if they meant it. Until them, assume they did.

  • 4 months ago

    They say it BECAUSE it's polite, and they want to show that they're nice people. Would you rather they said something rude?

    You have no way of knowing which of them might actually mean it, but you can find out.

    "Oh that's so kind of you. In fact there IS something, if it's not too much trouble. I wonder if you'd mind taking Susie and James to playgroup tomorrow at 10.30? Or, if that's not convenient, would it be possible just to pick up some stamps for me at the Post Office on Thursday?"

    And see what they say.


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  • Dv8s
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    Call their bluff, and say yes there is something you can do.  Followed by task, if they meant it, they'll do it and if not... you can't trust what they say.

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    Some people don't know what to do or say in certain situations.  They simply go with the often used phrase of "let me know if there's anything I can do."  I'm sure they mean it for the most part.

  • 4 months ago

    Some people go the automatic route and use these words without any intention of following through, as they often assume this is expected of them and in the moment, it feels right.  If you want to know if someone means what they say, ask them directly or wait until such time an incident arises where you need their help.  The response to you reaching out will speak volumes about their sincerity.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    some people might mean that

  • 4 months ago

    Of course asking if they mean it is inappropriate, but you won't know if they mean it unless you ask them to do something.  The idea is giving them the benefit of your doubt.  Believing they will if asked.

    Typically they do mean it, up to a certain point.  Where that point is, is the mystery.  For some they will bend over backwards, for others they will only act if it is convenient for them.  And like you said, some aren't willing to do anything at all.

  • Enigma
    Lv 6
    4 months ago

    i think it is meant in a "sexual" way 

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