Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 month ago

How do I become a better person (intrinsically) ?

Generally I’m a very nice person but deep down I feel self-absorbed and when I do nice things for people I feel like it comes from a place of extrinsic motivation. 

I live with very negative family members so I feel like that has had a bad affect on my personality

4 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    I think just the fact that you want to be a better person, shows goodness. Of course we can all make improvement. We were born imperfect and have to work on ourselves to counteract that. Someone asked Jesus what are the most important commandments and he answered with (1) love God with your whole mind, heart, and soul, and (2) Love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39). If these are our guiding principles, our motives will be good. It also helps to get some good association, and since we're distancing, you can get it virtually, at There are wholesome videos based on the Bible. Also experiences of people who faced challenges and handled them in the right way.

  • 1 month ago

    We are all egoists by nature. Our genetic tendencies and the environment we live in will increase or decrease our selfish tendencies. When you see our hear about people who are suffering you will be more inclined to grateful for what you have and more sympathetic towards others. You can also strive to practice the Golden Rule preached by most religions.

    Christianity: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

    Islam: Do unto all men as you would wish to have done unto you.

    Judaism: What you yourself hate, do to no man.

    Native American: Live in harmony for we are all related.

    Hinduism: Treat others as you would yourself be treated.

    Buddhism: Hurt not others with that which pains yourself.

  • 1 month ago

    Hey, we are all self absorbed.

      You may be interested in books such as The Untethered Soul (there's actually a free full audio version on Youtube)  It says the same things many wise sage type have been saying for thousands of years. Fascinating and potentially life changing.

  • amy
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Youre probably just insecure, self doubting, self shaming because you cime from a bad family. When I do good things I dont tell anyone at all. Thats how I know im doing good just to be good because I get no self absord recognition or reward from others.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.