Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 7 months ago

I abused a 16 year old when I was 19, whats the approperiate responce to do? ?

I regret my decisons but I also feel so much guilt. I wanna make things right but I am not sure how.

I sexted her and everything. I know this stuff will resurface eventually because of cancel culture. But I am stuck with the difficult decison of coming forward and have my life destroyed or move forward and let go of the past.

12 Answers

  • East
    Lv 4
    7 months ago

    I would talk to a lawyer (even in an initial consultation) to determine what liability you might have.  Then decide how to handle things.  You're right to want to apologize, but do so in a way that won't create liability for you.

    If someone apologizes to me, that totally wipes the slate clean and I don't do anything to them, so hopefully she will take that approach.  If she wanted to file a police report and knew you did it, wouldn't she have already done that, or does she not know it was you?

  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    Depending on WHERE this occurred she can take action against you for up to ten years.

    "Wanna" make things right?  Confess to her, and if she wants to file a Police Report, then live with an arrest.  How old are you now?  "Approperiate responce" makes me think you are still 19.  Or 14.

  • car253
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    You feel guilt.   Both of you have moved on.   Leave it alone.   Move on.   It is not worth the pain you might get locked up and on a sex registry for the rest of your life for just a simple text.   You learned your lesson.    Do nothing.  Move on. 

  • ron h
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    you didn't "abuse" her.  You sent her an inappropriate pic, and with her under 16, it may have been illegal. If you see her, tell her that you were thinking of that recently and that you're really embarrassed that you did that. 


    Sending a very dumb pic wasn't any kind of assault. I would hope that you didn't just send the pic "out of the blue" with no hint from her that she might want it.   I would NOT text or write her about that.  Since there wasn't much to it, she's probably deleted the pix and forgotten it.

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  • Carmen
    Lv 5
    7 months ago

    Always wanting to right a wrong is commendable regardless of how much time has passed pray for forgiveness peace of mind and the strength and courage to deal with whatever consequences you might have to deal with if applicable. You are the only one that can clear your conscience that’s obviously bothering you still to be on a public site talking about it openly. Are you saying you forced this 16 year old teenager to have sexual relationship with you without her consent? You mentioned you sexted her? If a crime was committed admit your mistake do you can move on freely and this not hanging over your head the rest of your life even if it cost you some of your freedom. Kind of hard to touch this situation not knowing if the female wants to press charges if possible or what. I hope you get a chance to say you are sorry if that’s your choice. 

  • Jane
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    Options are:

    1. Go down the legal route, report to your police station, give a full statement. Pros- you will feel a release on confession, it's out there. The injured party may find it helpful to have your admittance of the harm you have done. Cons- you will name the 16 year old ( at the time) who may not wish to discuss or get involved in the matter, you may end up with a criminal record as a sex offender and possibly be sentenced.

    2.Go down the personal development route. Consider a way to talk openly with an independent person eg counsellor about what you did, how you felt about it and how you feel about it now. Talk through strategies to handle what happened as you go forward.Pros- release of feelings, being able to be honest without being judged or legal consequences, learning ways to move on and learn. Cons- no way to contact and make redress directly with the injured party.

    3. Somewhere in either or both of these options, write a letter to the injured party. Start out just writing anything that comes to mind, memories, thoughts and feelings, like a diary or reflective journal. Next, review this, add anything else you want to get off your chest. Keep this for yourself. Next, edit it with a view to what you want to say to her, hang on, re-read, think. Then really think about if sending this would help HER. Could be it's more to make you feel better, which is fine if you realise this.

    4. In addition- consider long distance redress. Donating to charities that support, counsel and give advice to girls either in your local area or around the world.

    Remember that cancel culture is not cancel reality, it's just that you know the evidence is out there. 

  • 7 months ago

    Eh if I were you I would just let it slide. I'd rather just wait for things to blow over than do anything about it myself.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    7 months ago

    You first must learn to spell.  Secondly sell all of your mobile devices - China made them. Anyone anti-cancel culture is anti-china. Well anyone smart.

    2nd tell a priest

    that is it.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    you could try apologizing

  • Anonymous
    7 months ago

    You are lucky you are not in jail

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