Does this sound like self hatred, preferring Asian guys over White guys even though I’m half Asian half White?

With all the blatant racism going on within the US caused by White people against Blacks and Asians I definitely gravitate towards people of color more and the struggles they experience more than the struggles White people experience despite being half White myself. The thing about myself is that I am pretty ambiguous looking and I often get mistaken for different ethnicities from White to Latina, even Middle Eastern and sometimes Asian. Often times, I don’t fit in with either Whites or Asians like I’m too White to be Asian and too Asian to be White. I often find it easier to relate to Asian guys than to White guys sometimes since Asian guys understand Asian culture and what it’s like to be an ethnic minority more so compared to White guys. I am also very aware of the WMAF (White Male Asian Female) and the WMHF (White Male Hapa Female) couples and the issues associated with them compared to AMWF (Asian Male White Female) and AMHF (Asian Male Hapa Female) couples. However, I know that there are good and bad guys of every race whether they are Black, White, Asian, etc. and I don’t want to over generalize either. I am very proud of being Hapa/being mixed and I’m definitely pro-Asian and pro-diversity. At the same time, I know that couples regardless of race have their own issues and I know that not every WMAF or WMHF couple is bad.


@Arther, I live in the Bay Area that has a large Asian population.

2 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    Who we are attracted to is usually the product of our early experiences - what value societies place on certain peoples, what movies/TV/ads portray as desirable and what our parents were like (fathers for girls and mothers for boys). Good for you that you have seen that not all interracial pairings are the same (love is certainly not color blind according to social science research), with Asian men and black women seen as less desirable and white men and Asian women most desirable.

    If you are drawn to Asian guys, I would think about what the influences might be, such as your (white?) father, early racist experiences (bullying by white boys?) or current racist experiences (exotification by white men?)

    Self hatred is a common theme among mixed people and I'd suggest reading some of the scientific articles on the subject. My humble advice is to consider yourself eurasian, not white or Asian and at the same time a little of both, and come to accept it. Asian men will understand some of where you come from, white men are not likely to, but other eurasians who are comfortable in their skin may be your best soulmates.

  • Zirp
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    No it doesn't.

    If one of your parents is "white" and the other is "asian", selfhate would make you to date only "black" people

    You should stop pretending that humans come in races though

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