Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 3 months ago

My friend wants to stay at my place while she works on her mental health issues... How do I politely handle this?

My friend, "Kate", and I have known each other for years. Kate had a bad injury last year and has been on disability + was given prescriptions to hard core pain meds that she got hooked on. 

She told me that she has nowhere to go and that she's in a bad situation (also that the government and Google are after her: yes, sadly she's not doing well)

I have tried to be supportive and have learnt her over a thousand $ over the past few months. I'm on maternity leave with a new baby at home and I can't afford to keep sending her money; I also don't feel that it's a good idea for her to stay here. 

Please help me with advice on how to talk to her. She told me she wants to come visit cuz she has nowhere to go and is trying to figure out her health claims (which she's been working on for a year without progress), so I'm worried this visit is going to end up with her asking to stay longer and me being a pushover. 

She's a great person and an amazing friend, but I don't want a roommate! My husband and baby and I already fill up our home. 

I also don't trust her to be coherent enough to be around my baby. She wouldn't intentionally hurt my little girl, but her medicine makes her act like she's on day three of a bender - not someone who should handle a newborn.

I'm very worried about her wellbeing at the same time and feel like the world's biggest jerk for not wanting to have her crash here for an indeterminate amount of time.

How should I handle this?

2 Answers

  • 3 months ago

    It would not be fair to your husband and your child to invite her into your home. Tell her you are committed to your family and don't want to upset that delicate balance by introducing another person into the family unit. Suggest she find an affordable or free rehab agency to help her with her problem. Don't mess up your life trying to help hers.

  • Rick B
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    I would simply tell her that you feel bad for her but you have a brand new baby to raise and simply can't deal with it right now,  Remind her that you have helped her financially and wish that you could do more, but you have to concentrate on your baby right now.

    On a side note, I would not give in on this.  I would be very nervous having her in my home around my newborn.

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