Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

I'm not in love with my husband and I never was. I dated and married out of pity...?

I know its such a stupid thing to do, but I did it. He had an obsession with me and he was extremely nice to me when we were friends. He always showered me with gifts and kept trying to force a date on me. I felt obligated to go through with it because of all the things hes done for me. He proposed to me in front of a crowd and I didn't want to embarrass him by saying no so I stuck with him and just accepted it and kept telling myself I'll slowly fall in love. Well....its been a year and a half and I still feel the same way I did before. I rarely let him touch me or sleep with me. I care about him but I feel grossed out whenever he touches me. I dont even want to have children with him and I've always wanted children. He's trying his hardest to be even nicer but I just cant stand it and I'm extremely depressed and exhausted. I dont know how to leave him or tell him that I want a divorce. I do care about him as a friend but not a partner. I feel trapped because I dont want to break his heart. We are both 24. He has an obsession with me but I don't find him attractive in any way, not even physically. I dont know what to do. Any advice?

4 Answers

  • 2 months ago

    If you were this way at the time of the marriage it would be difficult to convince someone that since that time there has been an irreconcilable breakdown.  You are not in a good position but it is no worse than it was when you accepted the proposal.  And now you have dug a much bigger hole. You would cause far more harm than being honest in the first place.  I cannot comprehend going through with a marriage to a person that you didn't wish to touch or to go to bed with. 

    Temporarily forget the divorce.  You have to firstly come clean and let him know how you feel.  Discuss the matter.  See if any compromises are possible.  It may be that a divorce is the only answer but it is premature.  Until all the avenues have been explored first.

    PS.  I didn't know it at the time but initially my girl went with me because she felt sorry for me.  Wanted to teach me a bit about how to have a relationship with a girl.  But after a while she discovered that I was actually a nice guy.  Together we changed and matured.  That was 50 years ago now and we have the most wonderful life together that you could ever dream of.  You just never know.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    File for divorce and stop making stupid decisions.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    maybe you shouldnt be with him then

  • Tj
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Why did you marry him to start with..Go get a divorce. Set him free from yourself. you are not a good person.

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