Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 month ago

Am I overreacting to a friend not paying me back?

I've loaned large amounts of money to two friends.

The first time, the friend defaulted on the loan.  I ended up hiring a lawyer and got the principal back, but not the interest.  The friend turned ugly when I tried to require repayment.  I lost tens of thousands of dollars.  We're no longer friends.  I might sue him, but likely not (we're both Christians and the Bible indicates that lawsuits between Christians are bad).

The second time, I loaned money to another long-time friend.  This second friend knows about the first loan and the issues I had.

The second loan, like the first, is legally documented and has clear payment dates.  The second friend was to pay some interest on July 5.  He didn't.  I've asked him now 3 times for payment and he keeps saying, "Oh, yes, I'll pay you."  But he hasn't.

So the second loan is off to a bad start.

I'm not going to lose a cent this time, and I'm already mad that the second friend hasn't paid on time.

I plan to email the second friend today, tell him that I've already asked him 3 times to make payment, which was due on July 5, and tell him that it's over: he needs to get a replacement lender and that if he pays me back my principal by the end of July, I'll waive the interest.

Does that sound reasonable or am I overreacting to a friend missing a payment deadline by 5 days?



1 Corinthians 6 says that Christians ought not sue each other in court.

6 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    No you are not over reacting. BUT in the future, DO NOT loan any money to anyone ever again. Ever!

  • Tj
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Religion is not putting money back in your pocket. Take them to court and wise up, no more loans to anyone.

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    The real question is why you were so foolish as to dish ouit money you cannot afford?

    As a Christian I view every loan as a gift: getting it back is a bonus.

    Bui you help no-one by bailing them out in that way

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    5 days is unreasonable. You hired a lawyer against your own friends? Lol wow.

    You're an idiot to loan that much. I would threaten them.

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  • 1 month ago

    If he gave you a definite answer that he was going to pay you back on that timeframe then you have every right to be angry and the deadline is five days. If you can and talk to you about that a situation came up and I’m sorry but I can’t pay you right now so can you wait a little while longer. But for you having to ask for your money several times that isn’t your job that isn’t your responsibility it’s his responsibility to come to you he owes you the money so no you’re not being wrong or overreacting. In my opinion good luck.

  • 1 month ago

    First off, nowhere does the bible state that lawsuits between Christians are bad.

    That being said, lawsuits between friends are....because it indicates the loss of friendship.

    My suggestion: do everything you can to get back your money from your second "friend", forget about getting the interest from your first so called "friend", learn a valuable but painful lesson you should have learned the first time and never, NEVER again lend money to a friend.   I would also suggest you pick better friends because real friends don't take money from people they care about and then treat them like this.

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