Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 1 month ago

How to deal with someone who contradicts you to make you feel like an idiot and always look wrong ?

I cant avoid this person because I I have to live with them  being my sister but anyone else who says it it smart but then when I say it then she is against it and she has to always give feedback and people listen to her for some reason. which has caused me to be afraid to speak. Anytime someone has anything to compliment or my accomplishment she has something to say to discredit it. I try to stand up for myself and people see it as causing drama. My friends come over and their point of view change and then I get left out of family gatherings and not invited. In family conversations she pushes me out and overpowers me and makes family not agree with me and she turns around and says the same thing.

3 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I don't know how old you are, but try your best to look forward, because someday you’re going to move out of the house, and you can move as far away from your sister as you want. In the future, you don't even need to tell her your address or give her your cell phone number. You should talk to one or both of your parents or guardians about this, and if they are not helpful, you should tell them to take you to visit a psychiatrist or a psychologist, and if they refuse to take you or if they keep waiting for weeks, I recommend that you contact Child Protective Services.

    Once you’ve identified your family member’s toxic behaviors, it may be time to sit down with a family member and set boundaries with them, if you haven’t already. Setting boundaries may be necessary for the preservation of your own mental health while you’re stuck in close quarters with a loved one. Balanced boundary is one where each person understands that they have their own thoughts and feelings and they are able to maintain a curiosity about the other person’s thoughts and feelings without making assumptions. 

    One sign of a very toxic person is the inability to respect someone’s boundaries. If your family member is breaking any previous barriers you set, you might feel an underlying sense of irritation, an urge to justify your family member’s behavior, or a gut feeling that something is off. Remember, setting boundaries is pointless without the threat of consequences. If you draw a clear line with a family member, be sure to enforce this line and remind your family member of their promise if they attempt to cross it.

    Sometimes family members especially those with toxic habits spew rude comments without even realizing they’re being nasty. Instead of reacting immediately, inquisitively ask your family member why they spoke to you in such a way, or why they’re performing a specific action. People don’t always stop to consider their words before speaking. Asking someone a question about their words may encourage some awareness from your family member that otherwise wouldn’t exist. Or, it may provide you with a chance to connect with your family member and understand their viewpoints.

    The  person who stays the most level-headed in any situation will maintain the most control over it. Of course, control isn’t the goal here and it never should be, but control over your own reactions is highly beneficial while dealing with a poisonous family member. 

  • 1 month ago

    This is the best advice to give you. The reason why she treats you that way is because of two main reasons. 1- you allow it so she continues it. You are weak to her and its habitual that when she attacks you that way you show her obedience. Its now a habit between you too. This is mental abuse towards you. It will affect you deeply and affect you as you grow and deal with society, trust me. Other people that has her personality will see that weakness in you and also treat you the same way. The other reason why she does this is jealousy. She doesn't ever want you to beat her in any way not now or ever in the future. Its true- you might not believe it and she wont admit it, but its true. There are 3 ways to counter attack this type of behavior. The first is to not react the way you do when she tries to BAIT you. Another thing you can do is to be direct with her when she does it to you around others- Do it when there are witnesses around, be loud but polite. Express yourself say "you know it really hurts me when i say this and you treat me this way. why do you do that?" she will deny it, at that point you must say loudly so everyone can continue to hear,  " I would appreciate it if you treat me nicer and not make me feel bad since I told you what bothers me". She wont back down since she's an aggressor- she will probably try to make you take back how you feel or that you defended yourself-don't ever accept the pain people give you. Be strong in your words and intentions. if she does challenge you just say " just like that! even now when I tell you you're hurting me, you don't say sorry you just hurt me more and try to make me feel bad." It needs to be around others not in private because when others see you standing up for yourself and expressing how you feel they take your side next time she acts up. The last way is to attack her back. i don't think this is the best approach for you because right now you're personality type is timid, kind and shy. Her personality type is highly aggressive. Good luck! 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    talk to your parents about her

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