Do you think married people that tells their spouse not to look at porn do it as a form of controll ?
- FoofaLv 74 months agoFavorite Answer
Of course, but for most it's born out of severe personal insecurity. So those doing it don't always recognize it as controlling behavior. In fact in their minds they're able to convince themselves they're the victim if a partner watches porn.
- Barb OuthereLv 74 months ago
Not necessarily. They may consider Porn to be an evil thing and don't want it in their relationship. Others are comfortable with it. It not a balck and white thing.
- ConsiderLv 64 months ago
Yes. Now, I will not say that avoiding porn is not a reasonable idea and request, as I think it is. But I also think that many need to realize they have an obligation to keep their spouses eye on them as the prize too. Now, it is unrealistic for a spouse to think their mate will look like the pictures in porn. Few of us have the same looks, the skilled makeup artists, the lighting controls, the wardrobe that porn has available. What is wrong with a man wearing a tux at times, just to impress his wife? Nothing. What is wrong with a female wearing a lingerie and heels for the man? Nothing. So many of those who hate their spouse viewing porn, really need to rethink how they are acting themselves.
- fireflyfliesbyLv 74 months ago
When people try to control their partner's actions, it's rarely for the sake of having control. More often, it's rooted in something else (insecurity, trust issues, inability to communicate your fears properly, etc.). I've had healthy relationships and unhealthy relationships. The ones where my partner or I attempted to control each other's behavior weren't healthy. Or happy, for that matter.
Don't get me wrong. Every relationship has boundaries and preferences, and that's fine. But once you start dictating behavior, it's pretty clear there are bigger issues at play that need to be addressed.
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- PatriciaLv 74 months ago
LOL telling a spouse not to look at porn? It's just adult entertainment and a spouse has no right to demand their partner doesn't watch porn. They can ASK them not to, but this doesn't mean they won't.
I have to laugh at people who think it's ok to tell another adult what to do.
And if someone is so against watching porn, then they shouldn't watch it themselves.
- Anonymous4 months ago
I am my husband's wife, not his mother. I don't tell him what to do or how to do it, and he does the same with me.
Maybe I'm more secure than other women. My husband isn't looking to replace me; porn does not take the place of sex with me; I am not jealous of other women. I worked as a bikini waitress in a beach bar during college. I saw women TELLING their husbands what they could and couldn't do, and I said, "I am NEVER going to be in a relationship where control (which is how it's spelled) is an issue."
Every couple has its own individual understanding. I am not threatened or bothered or disturbed by porn.
- Dr. StephanieLv 74 months ago
You have now asked over 304 questions, so how much do you really want advice about this? Telling your partner what they can or cannot do is inappropriate; telling them your feelings about their choices and actions and asking for what you want to happen is.
- VPR_0000Lv 54 months ago
Probably not.. Has more to do with them knowing they're not good enough, so the spouse is looking for alternatives. Makes them jealous/insecure.